My Theme Song... :)

The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: "O Lord, save me!" The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.
-Psalm 116:3-9-

You know, life is really hard right now. I'm really struggling with the position I've taken at the hospital. I passed out that first day, and at least once a day that feeling of queasiness begins to creep back and I have to fight it away. More than that... it's a hospital. Every room holds a story, broken and hurting, scared and sad persons. Each time I walk into a room I seriously have to swallow my tears. Today one of my friends was there with her Mom who had a stroke and we walked through a living will. That was so hard. Yesterday a patient was taken off of life support and her parents were crying. That was awful. Today was a 101 year old's birthday and she was discharged yesterday, and it won't be long. That was sad. Honestly, I often want to walk out. Many times I wonder how I'll make it through the next long 10 weeks. Today after work, I'd held back tears all day and I just went home, called Mom, and sobbed. And then!! I found my theme song for the summer. And it's even a little funny cuz the one line says "I know that I can stand"... ha... as if Kirk Franklin knew I had a hard time standing up and have a history of blacking out. :) I can make it, though. I can stand. My life is in His hands; He sees and He's wiping my tears away as I cry out for the people I come in contact with. So, here's my song. Pray for me. Hospitals are hard. And would you let me know how I too can pray for you?


My Life is in Your Hands
-Kirk Franklin

You don't have to worry and don't you be afraid
Joy comes in the morning, troubles they don't last always
For there's a friend named Jesus who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken, just lift your hands and say:

Oh, I know that I can make it!
I know that I can stand!
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.
With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.

So when your tests and trials, they seem to get you down
And all your friends and loved ones are no where to be found
Remember there's a friend named Jesus who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken, just lift your hands and say:

Oh, I know that I can make it!
I know that I can stand!
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.
With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.

funny first day of work story...

Today was my first official day at work in the hospital. I'm doing my internship there, not at the Psych Ward, but with the Social Workers that work at Provena. Yesterday I had an employee orientation, and then today I started following the worker around the hospital. We were a whole two hours into the job... nothing had even happened yet, and for some reason I got really queasy and nauseous and began to black out. My supervisor started talking to me and the last time I blacked out I threw up everywhere, so I just cut her off and said, "Is there a bathroom?" I felt really rude, but I had to do something. She said, "Oh sure, just follow me!" We walked around the corner of the nurse's station desk and I couldn't see anything at that point. I tripped on my shoe, or the carpet or something, and fell face first into the wall and passed out on the floor. Yeah, real smooth, huh? I never did carry out my nauseous-ness and throw up or anything, but I was pretty bruised and the nurses were all worried about me so they put me in a wheelchair and rolled me to the ER. It was kinda funny... I'd just met the ER staff about 20 minutes before and they were like "What happened to you?" :) They did everything to me!! They drew blood, tested me for all sorts of stuff, did an EKG, an X-Ray, and a Cat Scan and finally let me go home. I'm not broken or sprained or fractured, I just have two nice welts... one on my face and one on my clavicle... and I'll work tomorrow morning. Hopefully I can stand up long enough to complete my hours!! How crazy is that!?! Talk about embarrassing!!

the new a.p.t.! :)

So I'm officially graduated (well... I am working my field placement starting Monday at Provena St. Marys praise the Lord!)... but I'm also officially OLD. Today I worked at Barnes and Noble with this kid and when he walked in I thought, awe he's a cute little kid. I asked him where he went to school and he just graduated from BBCHS. He's not that much younger than me and wow, I totally felt 22. Crazy!! High school seems yesterday. Hmm.

But it's not yesterday. And today I decorated our A.P.T. more (no that doesn't stand for anything... it's just how I say the word "apartment"). I thought I'd drop you a few hot shots of where I'll be living all summer... and you're more than welcome to come and visit if you'd like!! :) My roommates will be joining me in 10 days and will probably bring some more decor. I was going to wait until they came to cover the couches and hang my camel pictures up so they were where the girls wanted them too... but I'm impatient and need homey-ness to return to after a long day at work, so... TA-DA!!! :)

Meet the living room...

Ok... now check out the INCREDIBLE table in the dining room that Tyler Hull built for me (with Chris and Harrison's help)... how freakin solid is THAT!?! :) I've thought about painting it black so the legs that pop out at the bottom aren't just 2x4s... but I love it. So mumkin I'll just leave it. (Forgive my not ironing the tablecloth. I hate ironing. I wanted it to be on the table now... it wasn't worth the task. Someday I'm gonna marry a hot fellow who will enjoy ironing. It's the only thing I hate. Give me dishes, a vaccuum, or toilet bowl cleaner any day... but please don't make me iron!! Oh, and I hate spider webs. Sick. I don't like spiders either.)

And this is the lovely centerpiece I have adorned our table with. (It looks a little awkward, but I don't have placemats yet and I figured I'd make the best of the coasters from Syria.) :)

Quick nasty glance at the bathroom... I have no shower curtain, rug or toilet seat cover, so yeah... this is it. :)
Welcome to the bedroom... or sleeping room we should say.

And this is my AMAZING closet that I LOVE. Ah, the shelves!! :)

And this is the other bedroom, or desk-room. My desk is NOT cluttered... I just saturate that place with pictures because I LOVE looking at the faces of the people I love while I type on my computer or write papers or work on whatever it is I do here.

And then... da da da DAH!!! My favorite room: THE KITCHEN!!! Dude, dude, DUDE!!! I have a gas stove!!!! How freakin amazing is that!?! I LOVE it!! :) And that door by my star key holder leads to a humongous pantry that also is spectacular. Ah, I love not living in a dorm!!! :)

So what'dya think? Did I decorate ok? :)

I'm Graduated!!! Or as James said, "Now you're an adult!"

I GRADUATED!!!
Or walked you could say. I got a blank diploma that will be filled come August. If my Field Placement works out... ugh!! Here are a few pictures from the weekend... I'm hoping to have more later, am just waiting for them. I love you and miss you... especially if you're from Lima!

This is me and my Amy getting ready to graduate...
Here we are. Can you tell we've been teary?

I love this one. Check out my family minus Dad and Uncle Dan watching me graduate... Ha!And here I am... all hot in my black hat! :)