the past two weeks....

I've been sitting here trying to figure out what to write about the past two weeks and I find myself continually hitting the backspace button and deleting all the things I've just written. Probably the main reason for that is there has been so many different emotions that I have experienced these past days and it is difficult for me to pinpoint where to begin describing my journey as of late.
Two weeks ago, our band loaded up the trailer with all of our band equipment, clothes, and blankets and we headed out for Indianapolis where we led worship at a Jr. and Sr. High combined camp for four days. It was a good week, although I struggled a lot with just a new position in the band as a "Road Manager" trying to figure out my role, and first days and weeks are just rough. But it turned out great and Thursday of that week we headed up to Shipshewana, Indiana for a weekend summer event for the North West Indiana District.
Shipshewana is near and dear to my heart as it is the area where my Grandma Burkey lived and died and I feel like part of me grew up there. I never imagined that I would ever go back there without my Dad or Mom, and especially not so soon after Grandma passed away. This weekend was so hard for me. I don't know that I have ever cried so much in such a short amount of time. Being in Shipshewana made Grandma's death real for me. I was in Egypt when she died and hadn't ever dealt with the reality of what had happened. When we found out we were going to be in the area the very first thing I said was, "Oh! I'll call Grandma!..." and yeah, then realized what I just said, and as you can imagine, it was just a really hard time. But God is so good, and he has already used my experience with losing Grandma and being in Egypt to touch the lives of others and shape me into the person He has created me to be. Aunt Mary Anne, Uncle Steve, Micah, Matthew, Nathaniel, Miciah, Uncle Dan, Adam, Uncle Pete and Mark all came out to see me and it was so good to just be surrounded by family in that difficult place. The boys in my group have also been really supportive, concerned, and loving towards me and I have really appreciated them and just felt blessed over the last week.
Then this past week we have been in Michigan at a jr. high camp. That was incredible!! It was wonderful to finally be at a full week of camp, and while it was absolutely exhausting and it would have been nice to have rested before doing that camp, it was my best week so far. The campers were awesome, and the times that we came together for coroporate praise and worship were just phenomenal. God spoke to my heart alot this week, not really through the speaker directly, but in the background, about trusting him with my future and my plans and even other things like loneliness. God is so good.
In case you'd like to know, though... I've decided what I want to do with my life... slash what I'm going to do after I graduate if that's what God thinks would be hot too! I think I'm going to graduate and then move to Indianapolis for a year and live with Miss Erin Hall and work and pray and see if God would lead me to the Middle East or a mission field in Amrika, or if He opens up some completely different door. But yeah, that's what I've been thinking as of late. :)
So... that's what's up with me. We leave for SWID in the morning... I have to pack and hang out with my amazing roommate Kate for a while. Pray for me if you think of it... I'm still struggling with Grandma's death, with loneliness, with fear of the future, and just trusting God in general. But he's still working on me and it's gonna be a good summer of growth I think... Insha'allah!! :)
Love you!
-Kara Joy



Erin Hall... How I love thee!!

This is Elizabeth, Harrison's sister.

This is one of the most retarded slash fun games in the world... and that's Erin and Chris holding it.


Uncle Steve and the boys came to visit me...


Aunt Mary Anne and I crying and excited to just see each other and love on each other...

Mark and his lady Lauren came to Michigan camp!!

A few from Indy... me and Elizabeth and Erin...

My campers small group...

This is us at South Bend getting ready to White Water Raft it up!

And these are a couple of my favorites from Michigan camp of the campers worshiping Jesus!




The following pictures must be viewed with discretion!
:) Haa... they're of my fellows and some of the goofy things we do on the bus and in random places...

Tyler beating Tim with a music stand...

Chris messing with Harold's vision while he's driving...

Tyler uh... not really sure what he's doing with that rope...

Trying to make Chris's cerebral cortex smooth in the brain smoother slash launcher...

Smiling while Jeremiah checks out a hot loaf of bread from Panera...

Launching water balloons out of the bus door...

running the whole mile

Let your enthusiastic idea at the start be equalled by your realistic action now.
-2 Corinthians 8:11b

I've never run a complete mile on our track before and not stopped at all. Tonight I decided to do it. I started out by the Warming House and I went left instead of right, also the first time I've ever done that before, and I ran the entire track. As I turned the corner to run the second to last long stretch the wind was blowing so hard in my face it hurt to keep running into it. But I didn't want to stop. As I turned the next corner, the wind died down and just felt good, but my legs hurt and I kept thinking... wow it would be sooo easy to just walk for a little while. And then I started thinking about how this last stretch... really the fourth long stretch... is like this last year I'm getting ready to jog through at Olivet. I started my first year excited... with the verse above as my theme for college... and I've done well I think, kept jogging... especially those first two years. This past year was really strained, hard, like the wind just pushing me to turn around and go the other way. I stretched myself thin by being so involved in so many activities, almost completely burned myself out, and ruined a few relationships in the process. I went to Egypt, Grandma died, and I learned so much about faith and God. There were so many times that I wanted to stop, even tried to, and I longed to turn around... but I didn't. Here I am... rounding the corner of my last stretch, and can I just make a confession to you? It's hard. I'm scared. I hurt and I'd really like to just stop and walk for a while... not face the reality of what is about to come. But I can't do that! Tonight it felt SOO good to not stop at all but finish the entire mile... to end as enthusiastically as I started... worn down a little and panting, but with a big smile on my face. I'm not sure what this next year has in store for me... but I just decided tonight that I'm not gonna stop and walk for a while. I don't know how to handle it all or where God wants to use me specifically this next year, but as I am faithful to him and just keep going... he promises that he'll strengthen my feeble arms and weak knees. He gives strength to the weary and makes those that wait on him to soar on wings like eagles and not grow faint. So here I go... on into this senior lap, this final stretch... ready to keep running no matter what and to let my enthusiastic idea at the start be equalled by my realistic action now.

bagels

I haven't updated in a while... it's been such a busy past few weeks what with coming back from Egypt, visiting family and friends in Ohio, and then Prep Week here at ONU. I finally feel like I have time to breathe and work on stuff like Sister 2 Sister and laundry and emails and all that stuff. Hope you haven't felt neglected by me in these past days... I apologize. Know that I love you! So I thought I'd post and thank you for praying for me and share these pictures from the past few weeks with you. It's been a rough two weeks. God has really stretched me. I'm thoroughly enjoying the band and the boys, but at the same time it's not what I anticipated it would be... and I have a hard time trusting God and not being overwhelmed with fear. It seems to be a consistent pattern in my life: learning how to trust! I have to keep working on it.
Have you ever heard the song "Abba Father"? It goes like this...

Abba Father
My defender, You are Holy
I surrender to You
In my weakness You protect me
When my heart strays You correct me
Abba Father
I love you Daddy
Abba Father
I love you Daddy
Abba Father
I love you, I love you, Daddy

Well we were singing that in devos the other day with Zions Wake and I remembered this time when I was in Israel... in Jerusalem they have these INCREDIBLE bagels, like I'm not even kidding you... if you ever get a chance to have a Jewish bagel, you TOTALLY have to try it! So they make these incredible bagels and they have all different kinds of bagels and then all different kinds of toppings you can get on your bagel... like tuna or lochs (I think it's salmon), or egg salad and then like 5 different kinds of cream cheese... with dill or garlic or plain... and then they have cucumbers, tomatoes, pickles, lettuce, onion, olives, cheese... and you get to choose whatever you want. It's incredible. Almost as good as the potatoes in Turkey (check out www.karajoygoestoegypt.blogspot.com) Anyways... I'm standing in line one day for a bagel and in front of me is this little red-headed boy and he says "Abba! Abba!" To his dad and it caught my attention cuz I'd never heard anyone actually call their father Abba before. As I watch the little guy is pointing like crazy at the topping bar and babbling in Hebrew, I'm guessing saying "Daddy! I want that, and this and don't forget to put this on my bagel, Daddy, ok Daddy?" And the Abba seemingly ignores the boy for a little while but then looks down reaches his hand out and pats the little boy on the head and says something in Hebrew, seeming to say, "Don't worry, I know what you like." Later I watched the little boy sit down, tear into his bagel and excitedly eating it perfectly content with the bagel his Abba has just chosen for him.
As I sat in devos listening to this song and thinking about the bagels in Jerusalem I realized that I'm a lot like this little boy with God. Here I am saying, "HELLO!! God!! Don't forget I need cucumbers and tomatoes and I really like onions, could you please make sure you get those on my bagel?" And I'm scared cuz he's ordering my bagel with cheese and lettuce and I'm not sure I like that... and he's reaching down patting me on the head, "Kara, don't worry, I know what you like. Trust me." And he's just made me the best bagel possible and if only I'd shut up and go sit down I'd really enjoy it and realize that I couldn't have made it better... but I'm caught up in the choosing stage, determined that I know what I like better than he does, and it's just stressing me out. It's hard right now to trust his topping choice but I know that if I do it'll be so worth it... and yummy!! :)
Well, that's a little I've been realizing lately... hope you too let God pick your bagel toppings this week with me. And I hope you like the following pictures... Love you!! :)

This is Lindsey and Erin and I saying goodbye at Panera in Valpo. Oh I miss these girls sooo much!

When I was at home I got to go to see Cabes and Anna quiz at Mt. Vernon with Mom, Dad and Jonathan.

My girls!! Tara, Rachelle and I went to Cedar Point one Saturday with Michael Remole and Jeff Alexander... it was a blast!

My sissy!! I miss her!!

Awe, I love my brother!

My Caleb... I love this kid so much!


I got to hang out with the Kendalls one day... we went to Noah's baseball game and then it was funny cuz it got all stormy and we were waiting on Bobby and Dylan to pick us up and Beth suggested we hide from the wind in this house... with no walls that didn't help any and it was just as windy and relaly funny!!


Jonathan and I got to hang out with our favorite... Kelly Prichard!! It was SOO good!! I miss her soo much!! Love you Kel!! :)


After youth group one Wednesday we went to Taco Bell with the fellows and Kel and Shelby showed up... it was wonderful.

Prep Week began... and this is my Brenda!!

Me and the Katester... my incredible roomy!!

THE BAND!!!
Meet my fellows... Jeremiah in Black, Chris in Orange, Tyler in Blue, Tim in Green, Harrison in Grey... and of course, me in the middle.

I love these fellows!

Practicing it up!

Just yesterday my roomy Nicole and I went with Ty, Chris and Jer to these cliffy caves with waterfalls in the woods and hiked all over and climbed. It was beautiful and wonderful... I want to do this everyday for the rest of my life!! :) Made me feel like I was back in Egypt hiking somewhere or going on another adventure. Oh, how I miss Egypt and Turkey and Syria and Jordan and Israel... soooo much!!