This song just played on my Pandora radio station, and I just wanted to type it out.
It's my prayer today. It's where I'm at. God - consume me, from the inside out. Let justice and praise become my embrace to love you from the inside out.
A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains Should I stumble again, still I'm caught in your grace Everlasting - Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending - Your glory goes beyond all fame Your will above all else, my purpose remains - The art of losing myself in bringing you praise Everlasting - Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending - Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out In my heart, In my Soul - God, I give you control. Consume me from the inside out! Let justice and praise become my embrace to love You from the inside out
Everlasting - Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending - Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out
Some scriptures that have been stuck in my head lately that have encouraged and helped me:
I know what it's like not to have what I need. I also know what it's like to have more than what I need. I have learned the secret of being content no matter what happens... I can do everything by the power of Christ Jesus. He gives me strength!
-Philippians 4:12-13
If any of you need wisdom, ask God for it. He will give it to you. God gives freely to everyone, He doesn't find fault.
-James 1:5
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near!
-Philippians 4:5
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
-Romans 12:12
And here's some pictures of our sweet Asa boy. He was a funny little lion "Rawr!" for Halloween this year and there's a few others of my favorites this week... I just figured out how to hook up my phone and get photos, so hopefully I will keep them coming! No promises though - I am way to inconsistent in blogging at this time in my life!! Love you all! Be blessed today!
"Don't allow criticism to slow you down or lower your self-esteem. In our everyday lives we are sure to encounter some sort of criticism. It is how we take criticism that matters. Think of it as something positive, at least you are important enough to some people, for them to take the time to criticize you."
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
I was glancing through my blog posts and I was reminded of this post. It's one of my favorites... and I still am continually mesmerized by water and overwhelmed at the thought of it's power and similarity to God. So I wanted to re-post it along with a song my husband sent me on you-tube last week that I've listened to several times lately. Be blessed today!
I am mesmerized by water. Absolutely in awe of the stuff. I mean, think about it. Think about all the places all over the world that water is. It's in lakes, oceans, rivers; it's in ponds, sewers, mudpuddles, fire hydrants, camel humps; it's in toilets, showers, sinks; it's inside of us. And then think about water itself. There is something so calming and refreshing about water: a relaxing day fishing, a nice hot shower or cold shower after a good run, a wonderful day at the beach. And yet, there is something so powerful and terrible about water: a kayak careening out of control down an angry rapid river, a hurricane or huge waves of a tsunami, a person submerged in a body of water unable to swim, a power plant thriving on the dam it sits next to. Water is incredible. I love to be in water; I love boating and fishing and swimming, yet at any moment when I am doing any water activities I can be overtaken by an overwhelming sense of fear. Seriously, this happens to me every time I swim or boat or am near a large body of water. I feel safe, at ease, and carelessly and joyously am enjoying the day when suddenly my chest feels tight and I think, "What if I forget how to swim? What if the boat goes down? What if a storm suddenly comes up and the water surrounds me? What if I died in this water?" Soon I forget my fear and continue whatever I am doing, but later am in awe at the rapid way my thoughts changed. To me, water is like God. I mean think about it. Think about all the places God is. He is everywhere and touches everything, clean or unclean... just like water. And think about God Himself. There is something so calming and refreshing about our Maker, and yet there is something so powerful and terrible about Him. God is incredible. And much like water, God can be longed for, wanted and desired as in a time of drought, yet at the same time He can be feared and ran from like the fear of the coming of the rainy season before being fully prepared, or the coming of a storm with no shelter, or the fear of drowning in a lake with no life jacket. I am mesmerized with God. I love being in a relationship with Him the same as I love to be in water. Yet, I struggle similarly. I'll be feeling safe, at ease, and carelessly and joyfully enjoying life when suddenly my chest feels tight as I think about the future and I think, "What if I make a wrong decision? What if my dreams and all that I worked hard for falls down? What if a storm suddenly comes up and surrounds me? What if I lose those close to me?" It is interesting then to note that the more I dig into God in my moments of fear, I quickly lose my fear and continue whatever it is I am doing, and then later step back and look in awe at the rapid change of my thoughts and how easily I succumbed to fear and let it overtake me. And I realize that mine is a journey of trust. I am learning to love the water and yet be in awe and fear of its power and might, yet not dwell in that fear but trust that when I forget to swim that a life-jacket will be there, or when the storms come, that there will be something to hold on to so that I am not destroyed. Amazing, isn't it? Water is incredible. God is incredible.
Check out these incredible pictures of water... Clear, beautiful water, Dirty, mirky, contaminated water, Powerful, gorgeous water, Drops of Water, and Incredible, devastating water breaking everything in its path, and water calm enough to fill a bath and cleanse our hands. Water. God. Amazing.
Much time passes between my blog posts and it is difficult at times to write as I have so much to reflect on. Today, this week, this month, my reflections have a recurrent theme: Gratitude. And more specifically that gratitude is my choice. Daily. I have to actively choose gratitude everyday. That is so much easier written or said than done.
In August Ryan and I went through an extremely difficult time. We discovered we were pregnant in July and lost our sweet baby at the end of August. We named her Lily Grace. Some may find that crazy - we did not know for sure our baby's gender, but naming her brought peace and comfort. In the middle of everything, when I knew something was wrong, I searched for hope and found an image of a gorgeous purple lily. I started wearing purple to remind myself to hope. To remind myself that God is still at work. To remind myself that Lily is with Jesus. To remind myself that God is the author of the story and that it's not over yet. Ryan gifted me with a gorgeous purple ring that I daily wear to remind me of Lily and to remind me to hope.
There are so many days where it is difficult to hope. So many days find me despairing, mourning, tempting me to become bitter and angry and depressed. Many days it hurts so much that I don't want to get out of bed. And many times I have to remind myself that it's my choice. I can choose to be ungrateful and selfish. Or I can choose gratefulness and praise.
Today I choose gratitude.
Here is a picture of my sweet one year old that I am so grateful for along with some scriptures and a quote I found this morning during my quiet time along with the song that has carried me through the past few weeks and months. Tomorrow and each day following I want to choose to be grateful. I want to choose to hope. I want to choose to praise God despite the messy life and world we live in.
I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness; I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High. -Psalm 7:17 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. -2 Corinthians 4:16 Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord,always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. -Ephesians 5:19b-20 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7 Pray continually,give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. -1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 "To a significant degree, your emotional, mental, physical; spiritual well-being, as well as the health; stability of your relationships with others, will be determined by your gratitude quotient. Cultivating a thankful heart is a safeguard against becoming bitter, prickly; sour. A grateful child of God can’t help but be a joyful, peaceful, radiant person." -Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Wish it could be easy Why is life so messy Why is pain a part of us There are days I feel like Nothing ever goes right Sometimes it just hurts so much But You're here You're real I know I can trust You
Even when it hurts Even when it's hard Even when it all just falls apart I will run to You Cause I know that You are Lover of my soul Healer of my scars You steady my heart
I'm not gonna worry I know that You got me Right inside the palm of your hand Each and every moment What's good and what gets broken Happens just the way that You plan And I will run to You You're my refuge in Your arms And I will sing to You Cause of everything You are
You steady my heart -Kari Jobe May you choose gratitude today, too. Be blessed!
Don't know where to begin Its like my world's caving in And I try but I can't control my fear Where do I go from here?
Sometimes its so hard to pray When You feel so far away But I am willing to go Where you want me to God, I trust You
There's a raging sea Right in front of me Wants to pull me in Bring me to my knees So let the waters rise If You want them to I will follow You I will follow You I will follow You
I will swim in the deep 'Cuz You'll be next to me You're in the eye of the storm And the calm of the sea You're never out of reach
God, You know where I've been You were there with me then You were faithful before You'll be faithful again I'm holding Your hand God Your love is enough You will pull me through I'm holding onto You God Your love is enough I will follow You I will follow You There's a raging sea Right in front of me Wants to pull me in Bring me to my knees So let the waters rise If You want them to I will follow You I will follow You I will follow You
Funny Story: I bought new make-up recently and it all came in last night. I seriously have never bought a ton of make-up for myself, I usually just buy a little here and there to get by. I've never worn lipstick and I rarely wear full foundation with powder and blush. Lately I've wanted to do better at my make-up as odd as that sounds. I've thought a lot about how it could definitely use improvement. So I've looked and searched and I finally came up with a wish list including lipstick, 2 new powders, blush, and lots of other things. I showed the list to Ryan thinking I was crazy - it was very expensive and just not necessary. And he totally caught me off-guard. My dear sweet husband told me I needed to get every item on my make-up wish list as I'd never really spent money like that on make-up for myself before! I was thinking he would agree that it was a waste and that I should just get the two things I really needed - I've always just felt like I should put my money towards other things - like, I haven't had a haircut in ages and it's been almost 3 years since I highlighted my hair! Anway - he gave me the green light, and so I splurged. And it was really, really fun - and I loved getting ready for work this morning! Then! I am reading my devotions I'm ready for 1 Peter 3 and this is what I read this morning:
Braiding your hair doesn't make you beautiful. Wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes doesn't make you beautiful. Instead, your beauty comes from inside you. It is the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Beauty like that doesn't fade away. God places great value on it.
And so I just can't stop laughing - of course, the one day that I get up early excited to look beautiful and I actually put on lipstick - I would read this passage! Ha, ha. Beauty isn't about makeup or hair or jewelry or nice clothes - it's about what's in my heart. True beauty comes from within - and God places great value on those that cultivate inner beauty and seek to have a gentle and quiet spirit. I want to be beautiful on the inside - and as I've felt before, what's on the outside really doesn't matter.
Christ suffered for you. He left you an example. He expects you to follow in his steps. You too were chosento suffer. Scripture says, "He didn't commit any sin, No lies ever came out of his mouth." (Isaiah 53:9) People shouted at him and made fun of him. But he didn't do the same back to them. He suffered. But he didn't say that bad things would happen to them. Instead, he trusted in the One who judges fairly. He himself carried our sins in his body on the cross. He did it so that we would die as far as sins are concerned. Then we would lead godly lives. His wounds have made you whole.
Wow. He expects me to follow in his steps. I was chosen to suffer. I should do as he did. I shouldn't shout back or make fun back or wish bad back upon those who hurt me. I should trust in the One who judges fairly. I should sacrifice and give of myself to those that hurt me as this is what Christ did. I should lead a godly life and stop sinning. His wounds made me whole. I am expected to follow in his steps and expected to suffer. Wow. This is hard stuff.
