quick little update...

so... i dropped my ryan off in korea yesterday!! :) that is, i dropped him off at the airport in detroit. we had such a great time visiting family and celebrating christmas with our families... and were both sad and excited for him to go to korea!! he should be getting there as i type now, so be praying for him as he's there for a month teaching bible and english to junior high kids. he's gonna have a blast!! :) in the meantime, this week is pretty huge for me... i'm moving to north vernon on friday and am searching for a job and an apartment before he gets back january 26th! hopefully i'll find one and i'll keep you updated... but pray for me too, cuz i'm so anxious and incredibly nervous about the move and job search!! hope you had a merry christmas!! :)

a post

honestly, i have a hard time updating this blog.

it's almost as if the words i write on this page i want to be encouraging, uplifting, informative, enlightening and lately (as in the past several months) i simply do not feel as if i have anything to share. my life consists of the same: working 40 hours a week, visiting my hot boyfriend on the weekends, sleeping, eating, working out, and trying to get ready to move to indiana again. the problem that keeps me from posting: i've struggled with life lately. i'm terrified of not finding a job, of making a huge move and then finding myself somewhere doing something without purpose. i feel far from God as i struggle with consistency, with prayer, with listening for his voice and following. and i don't know, i haven't had time to check the news or think up interesting things to write about... and i don't have a faithful internet connection, so i have a hard time putting pictures up!! yesterday, however, in the midst of my worry and near hyperventilation about having bought a new cell phone and anticipation of bills and loans and no job and a major move, a lady at work shocked me. i didn't even know she knew Jesus!! and she says to me: "you know kara, sometimes you can just pray and pray about something and God never clearly says 'Move here' or 'Take this job' or 'Do this', He simply provides you opportunity to take a big step and then lets you decide if you'll do it. so the question here is: are you going to take that big step? you don't have to. but you can!" ah lori, thank you so much for those words. my response? "ok, God. i'm freaking out. again. not new to you, huh? but i'm going to take the step, make the move, and trust that you'll come through and provide for me." God is faithful. always. i can trust Him.

as i wrote this, my sweet new phone slash music player sang this song to me... how fitting!

my soul is weak, my heart is numb
i cannot see! still my hope is found in You
i'll hold on tightly: You will never let me go
Jesus You will never fail, Jesus You will never fail!

simply to the cross i cling
letting go of all earthly things
i'm clinging to the cross!
mercy's found a way for me
hope is here as i am free
Jesus You are all i need
i'm clinging to the cross!

insha'allah (God willing) i'll post again soon.
for my sweet thanksgiving weekend details, check out ryan's site. it was a great week!

happy sweetest day!

and another entire month has passed since i last posted.

so much for my empty promise of pictures.

i'm a slacker... or i'm just slacking at the internet... i've been not slacking in work!! i been goin' crazy with work!! :) so crazy that i put my two weeks in and i'm going home. yes, that's right... i'm moving back to lima!! never thought that would happen, huh? well... it's just temporary... i hope to move to columbus, indiana in january where i'll hopefully find a full-time job (i'm interviewing!!) and be close to my ryan. that would be lovely. and!! in the meantime i'll work some part-time job in lima and hang out with my incredible bro and sis... i'm pretty stoked about that. oh, and we have cows!! i'll milk baby cows!! slash give them milk. so yeah... homeward bound i am... i'm moving a week from wednesday!!

today... is a special day. did you know that it is sweetest day? and! it just so happens to be the three-month-aversary for me and ryan. that's pretty hot. i miss him today. and i miss amy today. here's a sweet pic from a few weeks ago when ryan took me to nashville for the weekend and we hung out with chris and amy!! :)

Happy Sweetest Day!!

it's been a month!!

wow.

incredible that an entire month can go by without my updating of this blog. there once was a time when i was addicted to it... i guess growing up can change everything, huh?

i've been thinking alot lately about growing up.
and i still don't want to do it.
but i am. regardless of how much i want to be back at olivet... it is over. :)

this past month has brought a lot of changes for me...

-i've been living with my aunt nancy. she's awesome... and there's this other lady rhonda living with us as well. it's nice to live in a "house" and not a dorm room... yet i struggle with my longing for my own little apartment. i'm living with her while i seek out a job and save up to get my own apartment... so hopefully by the end of the year that struggle will be over! :) but ah, aunt nancy is such a blessing to me. God is good, isn't He? :)

-i'm working like ALL THE TIME!! ;) i have two part-time jobs... which really together has me working more than full time. i just started this past week at panera bread. i really like it. i'm working there during the days and then i work at barnes and noble in the evenings. i still LOVE that job. i could work for barnes and noble forever!! (i won't though, don't worry mom!) ;)

-i'm making plans!! i'm seeking out a full time job in social work and anticipate that i'll still work a part time job on the side, but i'd love to find a job down in southern indiana (near the hot fellow in my life, ryan) and i've been beginning to look in columbus and madison, indiana. it would be awesome if i could find a job and an apartment by the first week of december!! we'll see what happens...

and really other than that i'm just living.

i continue to struggle with consistency in my relationship with God... i have this crazy feeling that that struggle will never go away. just when i think i've got it down and i'm chuggin' away spending time with Him in the Word, i lose my focus and suddenly i haven't taken time for Him in several days. it's so frustrating!! yet, i will continue to fight this battle and someday i will be victorious and i will be consistent!!

i miss people.
i miss olivet.
this weekend i was able to see before tomorrow lead worship at seymour first church of the nazarene.. and it was SOO good just to see tyler and chris and wes and liz and courtney and harold and abby and just hug them!! ah... i miss them!! this coming weekend ryan and i are taking some teenagers from his youth group to olivet and i can't WAIT to see jonathan and kate and b-train and mellow and rainsyl!! and THEN!!! ahh!! the very next weekend ryan and i are journeying south to nashville where my best friend amy and her hot husband chris have been living since the last time i saw them... their wedding day june 14, 2008. i am SO excited to see everyone!! life after college is a hard adjustment. it's weird to live in a place where i know no one and for a long time i was just working at barnes and noble with people a lot older than me (most of them have retired from something and just need something to do!!)... so i've really struggled with that. but once again, God is good... i'm so excited about the young crazy people i work with at panera, and i've been so blessed with my friend ryan and i have so many opportunities to see people these next weeks that yeah, i have nothing to complain about!! :) God is good... all the time!! and all the time... God is good!!

i have some pictures to post from this past month... but i can't do that at the moment as i'm at work!! so follow up soon and you'll get some good hot shots!! i love you!! have a great day!

an update!! :)

Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
-Psalm 27:14

"Gratitude is central to the life God made us for. Until we can center ourselves on what we do have, on what God has given us, on the life we do get to live, we'll constantly be looking for another life."
-Rob Bell

So the past two weeks have been quite the trip!! Two weeks ago I moved from Bourbonnais, Illinois to Anderson, Indiana... but I wasn't quite done with my internship... so after an awesome weekend with my family and Ryan's family in celebration of Ryan's ordination in the Nazarene Church I popped in my little wagon and drove back to Illinois to stay with Brenda for a week, finish my internship and work a bit at Barnes and Noble. It was a rough week... I was so excited to be finished, but goodness gracious, the stress of moving and not knowing anyone or anything and not having any job secure except for a transfer to Barnes and Noble in Noblesville, IN (which was TOTALLY a God-thing, praise the Lord!!) completely overwhelmed me. To top it off... on Thursday as I had gathered up my last papers for the hospital and finished my last class at Olivet ever and was driving to the hospital, I got in my first real accident. I rear-ended a pregnant lady at a red-light. It was horrible. Check out my sad little wagon now... it needs a nose job! :)

Thankfully no real damage was done and while I am currently unable to pop my hood, my car is drivable and the week before I'd gotten an oil change, so I have a little time before I have to worry about fixing the hood. So... I drove to Indiana after being rescued by the Heubners (bless you!) and Friday was Ryan's birthday. I met up with him and then that night we had a huge party in his backyard... the next few pictures are of him and his cake, the band he got to come play for the night (plus the incred Christmas decor he had in his barn that they took advantage of!), and then of us the next two days as we hung out together and got to go to the zoo (which was disappointing... did you know that there are no camels in the Indianapolis zoo!?! Who has a zoo with no gamels!?!) and we went to Kings Island with his youth group. It was a great weekend in the midst of all of my stress!!




I came back to Anderson to this incredible little house I live in with my Aunt Nancy...

And I started working at Barnes and Noble on Wednesday. It's been so busy!! I've been working in the cafe which definitely is stretching me... I miss those books, but I'm striving for excellence and just to be a servant... and I worked every day this week. Tuesday is my first night off... and that's been really good to have so many hours. This week my goal is to get my resume out there hardcore and just be praying and hoping that doors and oppotunities will open up and I'll find a full-time job sometime in the near future. I love living with Aunt Nancy, but it's been an adjustment... I didn't quite realize how alone I would be and I've been real frustrated as I got lost twice on the way to and from work, and I'm pretty good with directions. Sometimes I wonder if I'm in the right place, but then I do things like get to work the cafe by myself one night so that the other girl scheduled to work can go home early (not her idea!) so that she can be with her husband who's in the Navy and she hasn't seen since January and he leaves again in a week... and I know that even here God can use me and little things like his and her smiles make it worth it!

Pray for me these next weeks if you think of it... and if you're in Lima Friday night the 29th 7pm-9pm, well you should stop by my house and give me a hug!! The following pictures are of my incredible new yellow room and me in my work uniform on Aunt Nancy's incredible front porch!! One thing I am looking forward to... learning how to garden and become a better cook!! Aunt Nancy ROCKS!!! Have a great night and many blessings on you as you and I strive to trust God more together!!

ugh!

do you ever tell yourself you're going to do something...
and then you never do it?
i'm such a slacker.

over and over again i make myself lists.
here's my to do list for tonight...

-go to the post office
-do social work homework
-call sentry insurance
-fill out financial application
-set up a new email account
-tan
-go biking
-pack up the apartment
-wash dishes

guess what i've done so far.
i have gone to the post office, set up a new email account, and that is all.
something is wrong with me. and now i want to go to sleep.
goodness gracious... where does motivation come from!?!
i need me some!!!

Wildflowers, Jesus, and Ryan Goode :)

In open fields of wildflowers
She breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daisies and the roses in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all...

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A Great Salvation through it calls to the people who stare into nowhere...
And can't see the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close as a heartbeat or song on their lips
Someday they'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call them and they will come running...
And fall in His arms... the tears will fall down and they'll pray:

"We want to fall in love with You! We want to fall in love with You!"

Seems to easy to call you Savior. Not close enough to call you God.
So as I sit and think of words I can mention to show my devotion...
"I want to fall in love with You! I want to fall in love with You!"


This evening I stole Liz's bike for an hour or so and went on a super awesome bike ride through my favorite place... there are these trails down by the Kankakee River in town behind Perry Farms that go through the woods. I love riding down there. And then... if you go far enough, there's this awesome clearing and just fields that also have trails. Today as I was riding I was just overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. The flowers were gorgeous!! They looked like that picture I found online before... but even better... big sunflowers and pink and orange and purple flowers plus huge tall grasses and white flowers and birds and a little tree here and there. I found myself singing that song over and over, and then found myself stuck on that last verse about people sitting in church hearing the sermon and yet never catching the great salvation, the power, the love, the freedom calling to them behind those words. This past weekend I hung out with this amazing guy... Ryan Goode... pictures below for your look see ;)... and he preached on Sunday about how we are called to live Jesus' resurrection. Jesus isn't dead. He's alive. Why do we live without his power, love and freedom available through his great salvation? Then, tonight I read in John 4:35 where Jesus says "Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest!" What are we waiting for!?! What's holding me, you, us back from living in that resurrection? Often I find myself waiting for the next stage of life... I say to myself, "When I just get out of this internship and really start using my gifts as a social worker... that's when I'll serve God fully." Yeah right!! That day is today!! I need to wake up and smell the roses.

So as I sit and think of words I can mention to show my devotion...
"I want to fall in love with You! I want to fall in love with You!"

Jesus, help me fall deeper in love with You and as a result to live fully in You and adequately show those around me Your resurrection power without waiting for a "more perfect time" to do so. I love you Jesus. Thank you for your great salvation. Help me to not miss its calling.


This is Ryan Goode. He's cool. :)

typical family vacate rap

So today I was really missing Jonathan and I searched on my computer to see if I could find a video of him cuz I figured I had some funny ones. Well I found one... typical family vacate... this was on our way back from some Burkey Family Thanksgiving party... Jonathan rapping, Caleb beat-boxing, Anna singing crazy echoes in the background, and me not having a clue how to contribute to the beautiful noise laughing hysterically and trying to capture the moment with my camera. (And no one ever knows what Mom and Dad are up to!) I was trying really hard not to laugh so you wouldn't hear my obnoxiousness and miss the rap, I even remember having tears in my eyes from holding back my laughter, but ya know, sometimes you just can't hold it in. (Listen for Caleb in the last laugh!)

Enjoy. I miss you Jonathan. And family.

Addiction.

Lately I've been seriously thinking about addiction. And substance abuse. And hope. And getting people unhooked. And I've been thinking about the things that I'm addicted to. And how the apostle Paul says in Corinthians "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food but I will not be mastered by anything." I don't want to be mastered by anything. I don't want to be in bondage to anything. And my heart breaks as I look around and see countless people addicted. To substances. To sex. To violence. To pleasure. To lies. To false hopes. To money. To food. To anything and everything that is flashy and eye catching or dull and promising. Addicted. Trapped. Enslaved. No hope. No promise, or even glimpse of escape. Stuck.

Five times in the last two weeks I've had the opportunity to encourage people addicted to substances: alcohol, cocaine, marijuana; to be free from their bondage. Five times I've said "It's not about what I want. It's about where you are and what you want. You don't have to quit. But I promise you that if you decide you want to, you can." Five times I've talked about support groups and accountability and replacing the addiction with something else. And then I read this and it just hit me... this is what I'd done five times. This is truth. Here freedom is available. Check this out... it's taken from the book "Sex God" by Rob Bell.

There's a passage in the book of Ephesians where it's written, "Those who have been stealing must steal no longer." Which is quite straightforward - don't steal. But the passage doesn't end there. It continues: "but must work, doing something useful with their own hands." But it doesn't stop there. It ends with: "that they may have something to share with those in need."

On the first read, the instructions seem as basic as it gets. But there is much going on here just below the surface. First, the command doesn't stop with the "don't" part. The writer understands that that kind of instruction rarely helps. When we're told not to do something, how often are we truly compelled not to do it, especially if we enjoy it? If it's just me against the lust, the odds are already against me.

But there's something else going on here.

Stealing involves large amounts of adrenaline. The rush of planning, pulling it off, not getting caught, getting something for nothing. And then there's the expectation of next time. If we got something this significant for free, could we steal something even more valuable? What if we raised the stakes, hit a store with a better security system, tested ourselves? Stealing involves the senses, the intellect, a person's fear threshold. It even has a powerful social dynamic. Stealing with someone creates powerful bonds between people. When our adrenaline is pumping, that's a physiological phenomenon. It feels good becasue things are happening with the chemicals in our bodies, with our nerves and brain and bloodstream. If we do that enough, our bodies get used to it.

We could use the word addicted. A person gets addicted to it.

If you tell a person who's stealing not to, and you leave it at that, you've taken something away, but you haven't replaced it with anything. That's why the instructions in Ephesians are so brilliant. The urging to stop stealing is followed by the command to have the person do "something useful with their own hands". The word useful is the Greek word agathos, which is also translated "good" and "benevolent".

Why does the writer mention the hands? Because you steal with your hands. Stealing is a sensory experience, an adrenaline rush involving the hands. The command is to replace one adrenaline rush with another, a better one, one that's good. But it doesn't stop there. The command ends with the person who was stealing learning to do something good with their hands so that they can take care of the needs of someone else. Stealing is about taking from someone. This passage is about giving to someone who has less because you have more. Stealing is the ultimate in being selfish. Making something and giving it away is the ultimate in being generous.

This passage is about something central to what it means to be human. It's about desire. It's about the thief finding something they'll desire more than stealing.

"You thought taking things for free was a rush? Try giving free food to someone who's starving!"

The writer of Ephesians understands that to tell the thief not to steal and leave it at that doesn't have a very high chance of being helpful. The thief will be left with a battle on their hands that will pit them against their craving.

Whatever it is that has its hooks in you, you will never be free from it until you find something you want more. It's not about getting rid of desire. It's about giving ourselves over to bigger and better and more powerful desires.

What if I could empower others to give themselves over to bigger and better and more powerful desires? What if I did that like St. Francis of Assisi and I "preached the gospel at all times but rarely used words"? Christ is the ultimate desire, the bigger, the better, the all powerful solution to any kind of craving and addiction as in Him is real freedom. And what if I could be a part of pointing others to Him simply by encouraging them to search for something with which to replace their desire? To search for something that is bigger and better and more powerful? Wouldn't they eventually accidentally simply just bump into Christ? Because if not, I wanna know what desire is bigger, better, and more powerful than the freedom He offers.

I don't think there is one.

another missionary update!! :)

KATIE SWEET IS GOING TO PORTUGAL!!!!

How freakin hot is that!?! She leaves in two days for six weeks... yet another of my friends serving God overseas and doing kingdom missions work for Him!! One of the ladies at my work, Becky, is leaving for Louisiana on Monday... she'll be there with a team of students from her church serving God and working with hurricane relief all next week. So... add these two people: Katie Sweet and Becky to that missionary list and pray for them this week!! You could also pray for my friend Justin in Korea!! He's a professor of English there and too needs prayer!!

And me... this week's a hard one. The hospital has been more stressful and difficult than it has been before and I feel like I'm developing a stomach ulcer and a canker sore from the worry and my tendency to bite my lip when I get nervous or anxious. :) I think I get discouraged because I don't see how I'm serving God and I'm anxious to be in a place where I can use my gifts and not be messing up and stressing others out all the time. But I know He's using me and I know there are people that simply need me to smile and listen. So I'll continue on, but I guess I too covet your prayers... even though I'm not on a mission adventure.

this week's missionaries... ;)

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired and weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
-Isaiah 40:28-31



Yes, I am a nerd, but no I do not care. Today I watched Psalty Kids Praise 5's Camping Trip. I absolutely LOVE Psalty!! He said something that hit me and made me think about my friends doing missions this week around the world. He said "You don't have to trust God for the strength to make it to the top of the mountain. You only have to trust God for the strength to take one more step." This post is dedicated to my friends serving God through missions and I ask that you pray with me for them this week... that God would not give them the strength all at once to complete the work they want to do, but that step by step He would give them the strength to do in each moment what it is He's calling them to do! :) Be blessed, friends. I wish I was serving God next to you... but be assured that I'm praying for you this week and for the rest of the time you are away on your endeavor for Jesus!! I love you!! :)

This is Kate Myatt serving God in Ghana, Africa and
Jonathan Burkey, my hot brother, serving God in Italy.

This is Angie Morgan serving God in Argentina.
Check her out at: http://www.angie-missionargentina08-09.blogspot.com/

This is my friend Ryan Goode serving God in Pascagoula, Mississippi this week
with the Indianapolis District Teens. Check out their ministry at: Mission to the Gulf

july fourth

well.
this was the first july fourth i've ever spent without family or popcorn or sparklers.
jobo's in italy.
mom, dad, caleb, and anna are in idaho.
and i'm dreaming of indi.
(not really but it started with an i and i thought i'd continue in the pattern. ha.)
this year i hung out with before tomorrow a little...
we watched fireworks in the ghetto.
and i missed lima.
so, i thought i'd reminisce and put up some hot shots of "the good ole days"...

fireworks aren't really a "bring your camera" event, so i don't have many from over the years but here are a few...


summer after freshman year i was at rob park in lima with the family and tons of friends from church. here's two... one of me and james... can you tell i didn't want to miss any of the fireworks? ha... and then my friend tytus and lydia lighting sparklers.


the summer after my sophomore year i was in oklahoma with my family and the bible quizzers from our church over the fourth. i don't really remember where we watched the fireworks... but we were together. and i hung out with tommy and abe too!! here's a shot of jonathan and my good friend allison that traveled with my family on that nice little vacate... :)


last year was SO much fun!! last year the fourth fell during lima camp... the first church camp our youth group put on for itself. it was so awesome!! big chap came and spoke and on the fourth we all went to marysville church of the nazarene (where chris and amy davis were recently wed!! oh and they were there too... that rocked!) and watched some pretty lousy fireworks in the church parkinglot. but we had sooo much fun... and like the WHOLE bus ride home every two minutes jacob kline and i would do a hand check with the kids. it was funny. and we sang humpty dump and everyone wanted to shoot me for being loud. :) ha ha. but my favorite part was that the kendalls came up for the fireworks... and dylan and dawson and i took some GREAT pictures. these make me smile so hard!! i hope you enjoy these shots of me and my little buddies as much as i do!! i wish i had one with austin and noah in the picture too!!






i hope this blog doesn't sound depressing.
i'm not depressed. i saw fireworks and they were pretty good.
i just miss my family.
i hope you had an awesome fourth of july!!

Sweet Love Story

This morning I did an initial assessment at the hospital on an elderly lady in the hospital and she shared the most incredible love story with me that I just thought I'd post in hopes of bringing a smile to your faces! I asked her the general questions: how she gets around at home, if she has help bathing, cooking, cleaning, dressing, taking her medications, blah blah blah... and then I asked her who she lived with and her face lit up and she said "My sweetheart. My sweetheart of 40 years." Throughout the rest of the conversation whenever she would mention him, this 80 year old lady's face would light up and she would say, "He's my sweetheart. My sweetheart of 40 years." Finally as I was getting ready to leave she mentioned him again and I said, "How did you meet him?" And she said, "Oh honey you would never believe it....

...He was 12 years younger than me. I played in a band: bass guitar, guitar, and (some kind of horn... I forget), and he played guitar and piano. He walked in that day 40 years ago, spotted me and said to his friend "I'm going to marry that girl!" His friend said, "Well, you don't even know her!" And he said, "I know, but I will. I'm going to marry that girl." I had five children. I was a widow... they were ages 16 to 8 years old. He started talking to me and I brought him back to the house and the first child said, "He's cute, Momma!" The second asked him straight out, "What are your intentions with my Mother?" The third said, "Are you going to be my Daddy?" And the fourth said "We don't have a Dad." The fifth said, "I don't even remember him." And he said to me later, "I didn't even know what to say to that." He sat down on the sofa and two of my little girls crawled up on his lap, wrapped their arms around his neck and told him they wished he was their Daddy. He said right then to them that he would marry me and 5 weeks later we married and have been sweethearts ever since! And I had five children!! Five children... can you imagine that? What kind of a man would marry a woman with five children!?! And then... this is amazing. He took me to his home to meet his mother and we pulled in and I'd been there before! When I was 17 I had a friend who's mother was good friends with his mother and we went over to his house and there was the most precious little blonde haired blue eyed 6 year old there and I gave him a ride up on the basket of my bicycle. When I told him I'd been there before with my friend he said he'd remembered her and that once this brunette gave him a ride on her basket. He realized it was me and said, "Oh my goodness. I looked for that girl over and over after that day and swore I wouldn't marry until I found her. It was you!" And so he married me. And I love him. Lately I've been down. My sister died two weeks ago with COPD and I'm in the hospital now with COPD and have been struggling to breathe. I was praying yesterday down on myself, missing my sweetheart, and I realized this and am keeping this my motto for the rest of my life. You can adopt this motto too: "If you look at life through the eyes of love, you'll only see beauty."

Hearing her story sent goosebumps up and down my arms. Two people loving each other like that, still, after 40 years... It makes me excited to love. I want to have that. And I hope that she'll have a good many more days with her precious sweetheart before God calls her home.


"If you look at life through the eyes of love, you'll only see beauty."

why

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
-Hebrews 11:1

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him." But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."
-Hebrews 10:36-39


We live by faith, not by sight.
-2 Corinthians 5:7

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
-2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I don't know if I can explain what is going on inside of my head. My heart is heavy. I have a friend who simply impresses and encourages me with her faith to the extent that I want to grow in my faith like her. But my heart breaks because of the situations in her life and sometimes I just ask God, "Why?" I think it's ok to express that frustration to God along with a deep longing to understand... but I don't think that I will ever be able to understand. I look around the world... at my dear friend, at the thousands of people affected by the floods and storms here in the US, at the people in the Middle East that my heart is so heavy for who face unrest and fear daily, at those in the far East that suffered from the horrible earthquakes and other storms that changed their lives forever. And I get so frustrated and just ask, "WHY!?!" Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do storms root up lives and waters destroy futures? Why are people suffering and food prices keeping the poor from eating? Why is our world in the state that it is?

And then my dear friend tells me about how God spoke to her this week in her situation and gave her hope that He is still in control whether or not it makes sense, and daily He is walking with her, strengthening her and her family and looking for ways to speak his truth, grace and love to her life. And then I hear the pastor this morning talk about being in a storm in an airplane realizing that the plane had been built for the storm and could not be broken, and I realize that we are built for storms too. We are built to endure hardships and persecutions... it doesn't make sense, but yet we have hope. Jesus said, "Do not lose heart, I have overcome the world." I put my trust in his promise and I have hope. I don't want to be one who shrinks back, but I want to persevere and to have faith despite my broken heart and frustration at not understanding. I want to allow God to take me places in my life that don't make sense but where He can speak truth and hope to my heart like He spoke to my friend's this week.

amy davis. that sounds so sweet!

My Amy got married this weekend!!

I went to Ohio last Wednesday after work and stayed with the Slonecker's all weekend helping get ready for Amy's wedding Saturday. Then Wes and I drove to Indianapolis and stayed with his band, Before Tomorrow, at the Agan's house and then I went to Westside COTN and hung out at Camp Camby the next evening. It was a lot of fun. Here's some hot shots from the weekend...

This was Friday afternoon

Wes and I sang "The Love of God" for the wedding

Ok, so I'm sure this isn't legal to have displayed online... so shield your eyes... but dude, this was totally my favorite part of the weekend!! She took the last piece off... I made this for her way back in April. :) How hot is that!?! SHE'S GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALRIGHT!!!

Here we all are on the big day!!

He loves her so much!!

My family came to the wedding... this was funny. I picked Anna up and so Caleb wanted to pick me up but I told him he couldn't unless Dad helped him... and so Dad did!! Ahh!! :)

My Wes and James... James was my hot date. :)

Meet Mr. and Mrs. Chris Davis!!

Dad and Mom Slonecker are so awesome!! I love them so much!!

And there they go... off to Tennessee!! :)

Here's a hot shot of Before Tomorrow practicing for camp.

And this is Dad and Momma Agan who let me stay with them Saturday night and fed me Sunday! I love them so much!! :)

:)

just a little note to say...

MY BEST FRIEND GETS MARRIED IN TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
eek!!! :) yay amy michelle slonecker!! (and christopher allen davis!! ha.)

and, and, AND!!!
my hot cousin tim got married last weekend!! :) here's a couple hot shots...

me and the burkey boys (minus jonathan in italy) :(


kim and kara... now there's two kbs!! :)

and this is us at the end of the big day...
THEY'RE MARRIED!!!
yay mr. and mrs. timothy burkey!!

shabang.

little update...

You know, it's been a while since I updated this here blog. I've started mimicking my supervisor at work and saying the phrase "you know" a lot. It's kind of annoying... not when she says it, but just because I never used to start sentences like that and now I can't seem to stop!! :) Anyways... about the update... :)

The hospital field placement is going ok. You know, (crap I did it again, ha) it's not really what I want to be doing and sometimes it's really hard to get up in the morning, but I'm doing it. This past week I started walking around the hospital on my own, meeting with my own patients, and doing some documentation on the computer. They tell me I'm doing really well. I just wish I could put my whole heart into it. I'm working on it, but it's really hard. I catch myself counting down hours constantly and reminding myself that it's only 8 more weeks, and I just don't want to do that, you know what I mean?

In the meantime... I'm working at Barnes and Noble: I LOVE IT!!! :) Seriously it's the best job ever!! Saturday I was trained on the whole floor for the first time, and I'm starting to feel confident and competent in helping people find books. I even think I know how to order them online for customers!! I've been pretty steady in selling memberships (I have quite the speal), and I let them know that I'd love to be a part of storytimes and I started to be trained in the Kids and Teens section and some Friday soon I may be able to read a story to the little kids around!! How hot is that!?! Next week on my way to Amy's wedding I'm going to swing by a Barnes and Noble in the Indi area and put my transfer application in. That would be great to still work at Barnes and find a Social Work Job as well.

Also... I'm really looking into applying for a job working with the government overseas. I'm really struggling with the idea of living in America for the rest of my life and I have such a desire to learn language and culture and work with people that I almost think, if I have this strong passion and I can get a job at an Embassy or in some other organization overseas, then why not? Especially if I would find something that I would love to do and just have an incredible opportunity to live life with persons I normally wouldn't come into contact with. That's my dream. We'll see where it takes me.

These are some pictures from last weekend when I went home to be with my family and my Amy. It was SUCH a refreshing Memorial Day weekend. I LOVE being outside... we went fishing and I caught a 32 inch catfish!!! How freakin amazing is that!?! :) This weekend was really nice too... I got to sleep in on Saturday and then I worked out, tanned, and then worked at Barnes and Noble. Today I went to People's Church where Before Tomorrow played and my friend Nate invited me to a cook out tonight. I took my friend Bonnie with me and we had a blast just chillin at the State Park watching the guys try to no avail to light the fire. (We girls had to save the day and supply paper and then we went on a search and borrowed lighter fluid that did the trick.) Ha. It was awesome. So... here's some hot shots from last weekend.

meet alfred. the 32" catfish i caught. it took me like 10 minutes to reel him in!!

last picture with jonathan and kate...
world travlers on their way to ghana (kate) and italy (jonathan)