it's ok to not be ok!!

Tonight at church Thomas Bridges spoke about how it's ok to not be ok. And how sometimes we need to just take the pacifier out and cry. So this is my... I'm not ok post. But God is still working and I'm trusting in Him and clinging to Him these days. But I'm gonna just be transparent and say... yeah, I'm not ok. And that's ok. :)

Here are a couple pictures that make me smile...

Shout out to the boys in the band and a new trailor and sound system!! Yay!!

Shout out to Chris and Jeremy!


There are some people in my life that yeah, I just don't know where I'd be right now without them... Shout out to y'all!!

To my Amy

To my hot brother Jonathan... and my Amy again

To the ladies... Raina and Melanie... or Rainsyl and Mellow :)

To the Katester

To Al-e-Cin

And last but most definitely not least... to my Mom and my sister...


And these are pictures of my gorgeous new baby cousin Braden Emry and his proud big sister Ashlyn Mae... aren't they precious!?! I love you Courtney and Matt!! :)

frozen

I fell out of bed this morning and almost broke my arm.

I'm going to see Hanson in concert on Sunday!

I am in a frozen state of being. There is much to do, much to say, much to attend to and I am frozen in place unable to do any of it. May the thaw be rapidly felt.

There is much that has happened since the last post including pictures. In my frozen state I am unable to update you. All I can do is apologize and make an open ended promise that someday soon an update will be available for you viewing.

God is faithful. All the time.
All the time. God is faithful.

Pray for me.

an eclectic mix of thoughts for the day

Have you ever been required to do something, and you know how to do it, but it's so much that you just don't know where to start and really have no motivation to do what you are intending to do anyways? That's where I'm at right now. I have so much Sister 2 Sister documenting to do that I just don't even know where to start. And it's overwhelming. So I'm blogging and listening to songs about Jesus.

Today is the 50th Birthday Party of Malaysia!! Yay!! My dear friend Christina is from Malaysia... so this is a shout out to her and to the celebration of the country of Malaysia. Few quick facts about Malaysia: Malaysia gained it's independence today... well actually tomorrow... the 31st of August in 1957... which, by the way... August 31 is Chris Gibson and Chris DeMerell's birthdays... so happy birthday Chris, Chris and Malaysia! There are 13 states in Malaysia and 3 federal territories. Kuala Lumpur is the capital of Malaysia located in the west. Malaysia is ruled by Sultan Mizan Zainal Abidin who became the 13th king in December of 2006. The prime minister is Abdullah Ahmad Badawi who started his five year term in March of 2004. There are several religions practiced in Malaysia including Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, Christianity and Sikhism, but the dominant religion is Islam.

So yesterday I really felt like a senior. NOT!! Get this... my first class is in Burke 413 at 8:30am... so I show up at room 403... every seat is full... I crawl over people and yeah, disrupt Prof Blanchette to get to my seat because in my head I thought I was in room 413. Well I quickly realized I was in the WRONG place so I crawl back over everyone... and thoroughly confused I go downstairs... thinking maybe it's 313... so I interrupt both religion classes meeting on the 3rd floor still looking for my class, Christian Faith... no luck... back upstairs to the final religion class I could possibly interrupt and the Prof gently pointed me to the correct 413 room... on the other side of the hallway. Feeling like an idiot, a freshman, and retarded because I truly CAN read... I laughingly realized that I interrupted every single religion class that meets at 8:30 in the morning in Burke. Way to start my senior year, aye?

Good words for today:
Do not downplay the value of completing what God has called you to do. -Chap Daddy
God is faithful to me as I seek to be obedient to Him. -Chap Daddy
Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant. -2 Cor. 3:5-6

Good song for today: (Paul Baloche)

You have been so good to me
You have been so good to me
I came here broken,
You made me whole
I came here mourning,
You gave me joy
How can I thank you
Lord, There is just no way
How can I thank you
Lord, How can I repay?
For your kindness
For your tenderness
For your constant presence here with me
You have been so good
You have been so good
You have been so good to me
You have been so good
You have been so good
You have been so good

All the Time, God is Good!

You ever just wanna praise God!?!
I'm in one of those moods... it's been such a crazy busy few weeks getting ready for Sister 2 Sister. Today I just about lost it... everything fell through, our tshirts weren't going to show up and we're moving tomorrow and I just... am really good at taking things personally, does that make sense? God's been working in my heart about that a lot this summer... I'll post later about what I'm learning about patience... but anyways... I just got the greatest phone call of my life!! (Well, maybe that's a bit of a stretch but in this moment no other call compares)... the tshirts are IN and on their way to ME!!! :) 9pm baby and we'll be all set. And I just want to praise God... He's had it under control this whole time... if I would just shut up and stop freaking out... ;)
God is Good.
All the Time!

It is surprising, the places one finds encouragement in!

So yesterday was just a rather lousy day. I got a lot done, but it was a little lonely, a lot frustrating, and just not a fun day. I was just feeling down and I'd been to a store the day before and had put a sweater on hold... they had some really good sales, so I decided to go back last night. I shopped around for quite a while, ya know, didn't really buy anything... but then I did find some super deals... but anyways and then I decided to get some food because I'd forgotten to eat dinner. I really wanted some chicken wings but I got to KFC 5 minutes after they closed... so I decided I'd settle for some fresh chips and salsa from Burrito Loco... only a dollar fifty!! :) So I go over there and went in, which was odd because they totally have a drive through... and as I walk in there's these two guys who look like they just had a really hard day's work... one is older than my Dad and the other's a little older than me, blonde and hot... and I think a little drunk. They hit on me, not anything extremely obnoxious or anything... and well, I very rudely walked away. I was in Egypt mode where it's not at all appropriate for men to even look at you and they were like "WOAH!" and I felt really bad and then it was rather funny because the blonde guy then started talking to me and hitting on me via the lady taking our orders, and they invited me to eat with them because "A pretty lady shouldn't have to eat alone"... and of course I didn't... I got my food to go... but it just really cracked me up and I don't know, it felt a little good to be hit on after a long lousy day. :) I came home and laughingly told the whole story to Becky while we shared the chips and salsa, and then Missy called and I told her and ended up having some great just friend time at the end of the day. So you never know... the next drunk guy that hits on you may just encourage you. :) Haa. Am I whacked out or what?

Ready to Fall? Or Stand Firm?

It's crazy to me to think about how quickly we can fall away from God... right when we think that we're standing solid and steadfast the enemy creeps up and catches us off guard and we find ourselves in places we never dreamed we'd ever find ourselves in. Just today I was reading in 1 Corinthians these verses...

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! -10:12

And I thought... naw, when I stand firm I won't fall. And then later on today I heard a heartbreaking story about a friend that was standing firm and a struggle with sin that overwhelmed and caused a crashing fall. Life will never be the same. And it's so sad. My heart breaks for my friend and I hurt and wish we could press a rewind button. Yet, at the same time my friend's story sobers me. I travel around leading worship for teenagers, I'm actively involved in church ministry and lead several organizations on campus and I am not safe. I must be on the guard, ever aware that at any moment, I too am liable to slip up and fall flat on my face.

The big question in my mind: Is there anything I can do to prevent a fall before it happens? How can I stay standing firm? I think I found part of the answer in 2 Peter chapter 1...

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. -3-11

my girls!!

LOOK WHO I GOT TO SEE TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh i miss these ladies sooo much!! they're so grown up... teachers in plainfield!! erin of the first graders and amy of the sixth seventh and yes, eighth graders. ready for week number two. oh i love them so much. :)