I am a Disciplinarian.

disciplinarian, definition: 

dis·ci·pli·nar·i·an

-a person who enforces or advocates discipline

-a stickler for the observance of rules and methods of training

-one who disciplines; one who excels in training, 

especially with training, especially with regard to order and obedience

Today has been the busiest day student wise thus far in my career as a Period Detention Supervisor.  (Hopefully my career will change soon!)  I am finding more and more that I am a disciplinarian... and it is one of the most difficult things I've ever done!  The job itself isn't difficult... I just sit here and wait for students to show up, and do things like this: update my blog.  However, I struggle with encouraging the students to behave.  Currently my face is hot and my head hurts from trying not to smile and from being serious.  I hate it when students think that I am mean.  Last period, however, a teacher called me to say she was sending down three students who wouldn't behave and told her they have fun in my classroom and like to sit and talk to me because I'm the nicest teacher.  (Ha!)  I assured the teacher I would NOT be talking to the girls while they were in detention, and when they walked in giggling I immediately separated them, gave them writing assignments, and told them if they disrupted the class that they would be taking a personal visit to the Dean's office.  So they sat down and worked hard and were quiet... but goodness, that was hard!  You could tell they were shocked by the looks on their faces.  (I'd had two of the three before.)  And it's so hard because I just want to talk to the students and be their friend and tell them jokes... I know a lot of jokes!!  (You should ask me to tell you one sometime!!)  But, alas, I do not give in to my longings and do remain cold, straight-faced, and mean.  I enforce the rules... but I do tend to not write students up when they deserve it.  And as they leave I always try to joke around a little and I tell them not to come back.  That always gets them to smile.

Yesterday a student who wasn't in trouble sat in my classroom to finish her homework because it is supposed to be a quiet place.  I had 6 boys and another girl besides the homework student, and one of my boys was in particularily obnoxious, rude and disrespectful to me.  At one point he borrowed my scissors and proceeded to cut up and destroy his binder.  As you can guess, I promptly took the scissors from him telling him that cutting his binder was not relevant to his homework.  So he began to shred the binder with his bare hands.  It was great fun.  Eventually I convinced him that I would not send him to the office with a write-up if he would stop messing around and simply quietly sit and complete his homework.  He still had difficulty doing this, and I continued to persist in trying to get him to calm down, stop distracting the class, and not get a write-up as I know he's had too many and it would turn into worse disciplinary action (like a Saturday School).  Finally he stopped messing around, and I gave him a wordsearch, and he was rather shocked and excited about my kindness as he's been in my room before and know I only ever give those out to students who behave.  (Honestly, I have no idea whatever compelled me to do that!  Maybe God!)  But anyway this little girl, who'd been sitting there the whole time quietly, wrote me a note.  She said she couldn't believe my job was so hard and was shocked at how rude and disrespectful the other students were to me.  Then she went on to say that I am her new favorite teacher and she wants to be my T.A. next year.  :)  I thought it was sweet and encouraged me because often I feel like the kids don't like me, and I hate being mean!

There's that verse in Hebrews about discipline I've been thinking about...

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."  -Hebrews 12:11

My Mom used to make me write that after I got in trouble sometimes.  I always remember thinking, "Yup, God, it hurts.  I hate getting in trouble!"  And I'd long for it to be over.  But now I see discipline from a new set of eyes.  It doesn't just hurt the kid... it super is painful for the disciplinarian... but it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace.  Or as the NLT says, it produces "right living".  My goal is to not give up, to encourage and empower these kids to be the best they can be, and hopefully they'll stop coming to my classroom and be better students and people!  (And maybe a few more of them will become my friend in the meantime!  That would be wonderful.)