Ellie Joy

If I had a dollar for all the times I posted a blog-post in my head, I'd be a millionaire.  :)  But... unfortunately, I am not a millionaire, I don't get paid to post, and you can't know what I'm thinking or all the hundreds of times that I have wanted to update you on my life - or just scribble down random thoughts to remember later.

If you haven't heard, I had a baby.
That's right, I HAD A BABY!!!!!  :)  Whoo who!!  A little girl.  Ellie Joy Goode.  She was born exactly 19 days ago.  And I seriously didn't think I would ever have her.  My whole pregnancy felt unreal.

When I lost Lily Grace in September of 2012, I lost my song and my hope.  I still had hope, I still sang, but something - in my heart - felt seriously different.  I would often find myself struggling to sing along with my pandora music or randomly sing silly songs to Asa.  I would think about it - and I would want to - but I couldn't.  And it was weird.  I noticed it at Christmas.  I would sing a Christmas carol or a little song like Rudolph or Jingle Bells, and Asa would beg me to sing them again - and they would get stuck in my mouth.  There were so many times I couldn't sing back to him.  It was like the song was caught in my throat and I just couldn't get it out.  If I could force it out or randomly felt in the mood to sing (and that was rare and never lasted very long), Asa would light up and I would want to sing on and on just for him - but I couldn't.  It wasn't natural or normal for me - it was forced.

Like I said before, my entire pregnancy felt unreal.  I put off going to the doctor to confirm our pregnancy for weeks and weeks because I didn't think it was true or possible.  When I was so sick I would tell people, "I didn't feel sick with Lily and I'm grateful I feel sick with Ellie because I know she's there" - but I was truly full of doubt at her "there-ness".  It seemed too good to be true.  I would feel Ellie kick in my belly and my heart would sink and I would wonder if I would ever hold her.

When I was about 17 hours into labor with Ellie - she was born naturally, no epidural or pain medications - (though they did have to break my water and give me pitosin to help me progress) - the song we dedicated to Lily came on my pandora station and I sobbed thinking I wouldn't deliver, that Ellie would join Lily with Jesus, and I felt as if I might die too.

And then she was here.
They laid little Ellie on my chest and I was overwhelmed.

A miracle.
An incredible miracle I did not deserve.

And my song has returned.
The first night as I nursed Ellie in our room by myself my mouth burst open in praise.  I sang, and sang, and sang.  We came home and I would sit in my closet on the floor and sing and sing.  My Mom and others that visited the first week would ask me how I was doing - and I felt such incredible joy.  Overwhelming joy.  Light had burst into my darkness, and filled my heart with joy.

Funny her name means "Light" and "Joy" and our prayer for her is that she would be a light shining in the darkness and spread joy to others.  She brought both to me.

But... today I am exhausted.

Ellie is a screamer.  We wonder if she has colic.  For the past several weeks she has screamed, inconsolable terrible gut-wrenching screams.  Her face turns bright red, her stomach gets tight, her little voice deafens all within reach, and her sweet brother retreats into the closet to hide from her saying, "She cries a lot, Mommy."  I'm worn out.  I cry when she cries.  I can't console her.  I tire easily of feeding her as I feel it's all she wants and I could hold her to myself all day long and she would still cry.

It's hard to remember just days ago the overwhelming joy that covered me.
It's difficult to see what an immense blessing she is at 2 in the morning when I just want to hide under my pillow from her wailing.

But she is.
A precious, incredible gift.
Light in our darkness.
Joy to our hearts.

Thank you, sweet Jesus.  Thank you for our Ellie Joy.

Quote of the Week...

The foundation of a missional life is the decision to offer to God our plans in exchange for His plans.  It is to allow the truth about who God is, what He has done, and our new identity in Jesus inform all of life.  It requires that we are willing to leave our world so He can send us to extend His Kingdom.  Whether we choose to engage the call is up to us.

-exerpt from The Tangible Kingdom Primer

Blessings in Disguise

I've been blessed to be with my Mom and my sister this weekend and Sunday I went to church at Lima Community Church of the Nazarene and felt God speak to my aching heart.

My baby girl, Lily Grace, would be around 2 weeks old this week.  It's so hard to think of what could have been.  Our life would look so different had she come.  I wish I could hold her tiny hands and kiss her sweet face.  But for some reason, I can't.  Trusting God is hard sometimes.  Pastor Doug shared about God's love on Sunday and I just felt reassured that even when I don't know why or how, God is at work.

You can click here to hear his encouraging words, and check out the you-tube video below.  I wept as I listened to the words of this song.  Especially the following lines...

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Blessings, Laura Story

Some brutal honesty...

I'm praying for a joyful heart and grateful attitude!

Check out my journal entry today...

Patience and Peace

Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we  understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

I'm working on this. The past two weeks have been crazy (I look forward to sharing details and pictures soon!)... full of God's blessings and goodness, yet also testing me and how I will respond. I want to choose joy in the middle of our time of waiting. I desire to be full of grace and patience, yet so often I find myself reacting selfishly and impatiently.

Jesus, help me. You have done so much for us and I have so much be thankful for! Help me to trust you more and fill me with God's peace.

I leave you with a picture of our sweet two year old!

My Last Day at Work :-(

Did I ever share this sweet family picture with you?
It was taken in May, so almost a year ago - and so we look slightly different, but it's a sweet shot.
I love it.

This is a late night post.
It's my last day at my job at the Health & Wellness Clinic.
I have been so blessed to be their Administrator these past 10 months.  It breaks my heart that I couldn't have been here longer, but I know that God is working - I trust that His plan is better than mine, and I'm excited for the clinic and their new administrator - Missy.  She's going to be awesome.  Here's a link to the Clinic's website - they always are looking for more volunteers and survive due to donations from incredibly generous people.  If you'd like to be involved in the incredible good work they are accomplishing in the Fulton County community, please check out their website and don't hesitate to contact the Clinic for more information.  I will miss the Clinic dearly.

Ugh.  Moving is hard.
It's so bittersweet.

That's it for now... goodnight.
-Kara Joy

A Weekend in California

This weekend was sweet and refreshing - but also spiritually rejuvenating!

   

I have been praying for months, seeking, striving to listen, hoping to hear God speak to my heart, longing for specific direction and clarity - and I have found silence.  Encouragement for moments, strength for difficulty, hope for holding onto faith - but silence to the questions I long to be answered.  I pleaded with God to answer me.  I shamefully admit that I even gave him an ultimatum - and I asked for a fleece and a clear answer in 7 days.  Who does that with God?  That is NOT how I should behave!  Looking back I think, what was I thinking?  In my desperation for Him to break the silence, my reasoning was that Gideon boldly asked God for a fleece - he asked twice for God to work overnight to convince him of the way he should go - and God answered.  But as I look back, I feel silly.  God doesn't owe me anything - he doesn't have to tell me anything!  

On Wednesday - a week and a half after I had given God 7 days, I wept.  I apologized.  I didn't know if God would ever answer my prayer for clarity - but I knew that regardless my response should not be to demand or threaten or walk away from Him, but to graciously submit and praise Him for the ways I see Him working and to trust that even when I don't have specific direction that He is at work and He IS trustworthy.  I preach to the kids in Kids Church every Sunday that we can "Trust God no matter what!" and I was absolutely not acting like I trusted God.  

I packed for California Wednesday night and headed to Choose Joy, a conference for those struggling with infertility and miscarriage and long waits in adoption - and I decided that all I wanted was peace.  I told God that I trusted Him.  My goal for the weekend was to be encouraged by simply being in a room surrounded by others that were hurting and to there find some peace that would help my impatient spirit wait.

And God sweetly, and gently blew me away.

He seriously overwhelmed me with His presence.  I could vividly see Him at work changing lives around me.  And He spoke to my heart!  Over and over again.  There was not silence this weekend.  Throughout the entire weekend were sweet moments that caused me to weep as I heard Him whisper to my aching heart.  He clearly and unexpectedly answered the questions I had been asking Him.  I can picture Him watching my reaction with a huge smile on His face as it completely caught me off-guard.  He calmed fear.  He whispered peace into my hurting heart.  He strengthened my feeble arms and weak knees.  He drew near to me.  He revealed to me some ways that He is working.

It was so beautiful and unexpected.  I feel so uplifted. And - you know how I love to be excited - I left California excited!  :)  I see clearly that God is at work in our broken and hurting world and I also see that I am a part of his Kingdom coming here on earth - and I'm excited.  I'm excited for today and I'm excited for what is to come tomorrow as I continue to seek Him and strive to follow Him.  

Below are two pictures of the other sweet, unexpected experience I had this weekend... sea lions sprawling on the beach just a foot away from us - and a baby sea lion born the day we visited.  Wow.  

God is incredible.  :)

Asa, Me, and Steve Green

This guy and I...

Have been listening to this guy and his CD a LOT...

Thank you Steve Green for reminding me of some good scriptures today.

Today I feel weary.  I feel super overwhelmed at work - I don't know where to start, I don't know who I should focus on helping before the other, I don't know how to solve all of the problems, I don't know how to complete all of the work.  And so I want to give up.  I want to just stay home.  But then I wouldn't do anyone any good at all.  The verses I heard in the car this morning with Asa on the way to the babysitter helped me today, so I share them with you.  And if you have a little one at home - Steve Green's stuff is very aged - but it's SO good.  I encourage you to check out Hide 'Em In Your Heart Volume 1 and Hide 'Em In Your Heart Volume 2.  Thanks, Mom for giving them to me.  They're wonderful.

Let us not grow weary while doing good, 

for in due season we will reap if we do not lose heart.

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all.

-Galatians 6:9-10

Encourage one another and build each other up!

-1 Thessalonians 5:11

From the Inside Out

This song just played on my Pandora radio station, and I just wanted to type it out.
It's my prayer today.  It's where I'm at.  God - consume me, from the inside out.  Let justice and praise become my embrace to love you from the inside out.

A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains
Should I stumble again, still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting - Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending - Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else, my purpose remains -
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting - Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending - Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out

In my heart, In my Soul - 
God, I give you control.
Consume me from the inside out!
Let justice and praise become my embrace to love You from the inside out



Everlasting - Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending - Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out

Verses to Help

Some scriptures that have been stuck in my head lately that have encouraged and helped me:

I know what it's like not to have what I need.  I also know what it's like to have more than what I need.  I have learned the secret of being content no matter what happens... I can do everything by the power of Christ Jesus.  He gives me strength!

-Philippians 4:12-13

If any of you need wisdom, ask God for it.  He will give it to you.  God gives freely to everyone, He doesn't find fault.

-James 1:5

Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near!

-Philippians 4:5

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

-Romans 12:12

And here's some pictures of our sweet Asa boy.  He was a funny little lion "Rawr!" for Halloween this year and there's a few others of my favorites this week... I just figured out how to hook up my phone and get photos, so hopefully I will keep them coming!  No promises though - I am way to inconsistent in blogging at this time in my life!!  Love you all!  Be blessed today!

Three Years

Three years ago today, Brad Gallup got peed on my a camel.

Ha ha.

The most important and best part of the story, though, 
is that his step-son, Ryan Goode, married me.

He picked me!

I'm so glad that he did!

And I would marry him all over again!!

Happy Anniversary, babers.  I love you!  
Thanks for marrying me!!

Words for Thought...

"Don't allow criticism to slow you down or lower your self-esteem. In our everyday lives we are sure to encounter some sort of criticism. It is how we take criticism that matters. Think of it as something positive, at least you are important enough to some people, for them to take the time to criticize you."

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.  Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.  And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:12-17

Water and God

I was glancing through my blog posts and I was reminded of this post.  It's one of my favorites... and I still am continually mesmerized by water and overwhelmed at the thought of it's power and similarity to God.  So I wanted to re-post it along with a song my husband sent me on you-tube last week that I've listened to several times lately.  Be blessed today!

I am mesmerized by water. Absolutely in awe of the stuff. I mean, think about it. Think about all the places all over the world that water is. It's in lakes, oceans, rivers; it's in ponds, sewers, mudpuddles, fire hydrants, camel humps; it's in toilets, showers, sinks; it's inside of us. And then think about water itself. There is something so calming and refreshing about water: a relaxing day fishing, a nice hot shower or cold shower after a good run, a wonderful day at the beach. And yet, there is something so powerful and terrible about water: a kayak careening out of control down an angry rapid river, a hurricane or huge waves of a tsunami, a person submerged in a body of water unable to swim, a power plant thriving on the dam it sits next to. Water is incredible. I love to be in water; I love boating and fishing and swimming, yet at any moment when I am doing any water activities I can be overtaken by an overwhelming sense of fear. Seriously, this happens to me every time I swim or boat or am near a large body of water. I feel safe, at ease, and carelessly and joyously am enjoying the day when suddenly my chest feels tight and I think, "What if I forget how to swim? What if the boat goes down? What if a storm suddenly comes up and the water surrounds me? What if I died in this water?" Soon I forget my fear and continue whatever I am doing, but later am in awe at the rapid way my thoughts changed. To me, water is like God. I mean think about it. Think about all the places God is. He is everywhere and touches everything, clean or unclean... just like water. And think about God Himself. There is something so calming and refreshing about our Maker, and yet there is something so powerful and terrible about Him. God is incredible. And much like water, God can be longed for, wanted and desired as in a time of drought, yet at the same time He can be feared and ran from like the fear of the coming of the rainy season before being fully prepared, or the coming of a storm with no shelter, or the fear of drowning in a lake with no life jacket. I am mesmerized with God. I love being in a relationship with Him the same as I love to be in water. Yet, I struggle similarly. I'll be feeling safe, at ease, and carelessly and joyfully enjoying life when suddenly my chest feels tight as I think about the future and I think, "What if I make a wrong decision? What if my dreams and all that I worked hard for falls down? What if a storm suddenly comes up and surrounds me? What if I lose those close to me?" It is interesting then to note that the more I dig into God in my moments of fear, I quickly lose my fear and continue whatever it is I am doing, and then later step back and look in awe at the rapid change of my thoughts and how easily I succumbed to fear and let it overtake me. And I realize that mine is a journey of trust. I am learning to love the water and yet be in awe and fear of its power and might, yet not dwell in that fear but trust that when I forget to swim that a life-jacket will be there, or when the storms come, that there will be something to hold on to so that I am not destroyed. Amazing, isn't it? Water is incredible. God is incredible.

Check out these incredible pictures of water... Clear, beautiful water, Dirty, mirky, contaminated water, Powerful, gorgeous water, Drops of Water, and Incredible, devastating water breaking everything in its path, and water calm enough to fill a bath and cleanse our hands. Water. God. Amazing.

Choose Gratitude

Much time passes between my blog posts and it is difficult at times to write as I have so much to reflect on.  Today, this week, this month, my reflections have a recurrent theme: Gratitude.  And more specifically that gratitude is my choice.  Daily.  I have to actively choose gratitude everyday.  That is so much easier written or said than done.

In August Ryan and I went through an extremely difficult time.  We discovered we were pregnant in July and lost our sweet baby at the end of August.  We named her Lily Grace.  Some may find that crazy - we did not know for sure our baby's gender, but naming her brought peace and comfort.  In the middle of everything, when I knew something was wrong, I searched for hope and found an image of a gorgeous purple lily.  I started wearing purple to remind myself to hope.  To remind myself that God is still at work.  To remind myself that Lily is with Jesus.  To remind myself that God is the author of the story and that it's not over yet.  Ryan gifted me with a gorgeous purple ring that I daily wear to remind me of Lily and to remind me to hope.  

There are so many days where it is difficult to hope.  So many days find me despairing, mourning, tempting me to become bitter and angry and depressed.  Many days it hurts so much that I don't want to get out of bed.  And many times I have to remind myself that it's my choice.  I can choose to be ungrateful and selfish.  Or I can choose gratefulness and praise.

Today I choose gratitude.  

Here is a picture of my sweet one year old that I am so grateful for along with some scriptures and a quote I found this morning during my quiet time along with the song that has carried me through the past few weeks and months.  Tomorrow and each day following I want to choose to be grateful.  I want to choose to hope.  I want to choose to praise God despite the messy life and world we live in.

I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness;
I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High.
-Psalm 7:17

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
-2 Corinthians 4:16

Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
-Ephesians 5:19b-20

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:6-7

Pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
-1 Thessalonians 5:17-18

"To a significant degree, your emotional, mental, physical; spiritual well-being, as well as the health; stability of your relationships with others, will be determined by your gratitude quotient. Cultivating a thankful heart is a safeguard against becoming bitter, prickly; sour. A grateful child of God can’t help but be a joyful, peaceful, radiant person." -Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Wish it could be easy
Why is life so messy
Why is pain a part of us
There are days I feel like
Nothing ever goes right
Sometimes it just hurts so much
But You're here
You're real
I know I can trust You

Even when it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart

I'm not gonna worry
I know that You got me
Right inside the palm of your hand
Each and every moment
What's good and what gets broken
Happens just the way that You plan
And I will run to You
You're my refuge in Your arms
And I will sing to You
Cause of everything You are

You steady my heart 
-Kari Jobe

May you choose gratitude today, too.
Be blessed!

Let the Waters Rise - Mikeschair

Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?

Sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You

There's a raging sea 
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to 
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach

God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand
God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough 
I will follow You
I will follow You

There's a raging sea 
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to 
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

Beauty

Funny Story: I bought new make-up recently and it all came in last night.  I seriously have never bought a ton of make-up for myself, I usually just buy a little here and there to get by.  I've never worn lipstick and I rarely wear full foundation with powder and blush.  Lately I've wanted to do better at my make-up as odd as that sounds.  I've thought a lot about how it could definitely use improvement.  So I've looked and searched and I finally came up with a wish list including lipstick, 2 new powders, blush, and lots of other things.  I showed the list to Ryan thinking I was crazy - it was very expensive and just not necessary.  And he totally caught me off-guard.  My dear sweet husband told me I needed to get every item on my make-up wish list as I'd never really spent money like that on make-up for myself before!  I was thinking he would agree that it was a waste and that I should just get the two things I really needed - I've always just felt like I should put my money towards other things - like, I haven't had a haircut in ages and it's been almost 3 years since I highlighted my hair!  Anway - he gave me the green light, and so I splurged.  And it was really, really fun - and I loved getting ready for work this morning!  Then!  I am reading my devotions I'm ready for 1 Peter 3 and this is what I read this morning:

Braiding your hair doesn't make you beautiful.
Wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes doesn't make you beautiful.
Instead, your beauty comes from inside you.
It is the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.
Beauty like that doesn't fade away.  God places great value on it.


And so I just can't stop laughing - of course, the one day that I get up early excited to look beautiful and I actually put on lipstick - I would read this passage!  Ha, ha.  Beauty isn't about makeup or hair or jewelry or nice clothes - it's about what's in my heart.  True beauty comes from within - and God places great value on those that cultivate inner beauty and seek to have a gentle and quiet spirit.  I want to be beautiful on the inside - and as I've felt before, what's on the outside really doesn't matter.

Suffering

Some words I am chewing on...


Christ suffered for you.  He left you an example.
He expects you to follow in his steps.
You too were chosen to suffer.
Scripture says, "He didn't commit any sin,
No lies ever came out of his mouth."  (Isaiah 53:9)
People shouted at him and made fun of him.
But he didn't do the same back to them.
He suffered.  But he didn't say that bad things would happen to them.
Instead, he trusted in the One who judges fairly.
He himself carried our sins in his body on the cross.
He did it so that we would die as far as sins are concerned.
Then we would lead godly lives.
His wounds have made you whole.


Wow.  He expects me to follow in his steps.  I was chosen to suffer.  I should do as he did.  I shouldn't shout back or make fun back or wish bad back upon those who hurt me.  I should trust in the One who judges fairly.  I should sacrifice and give of myself to those that hurt me as this is what Christ did.  I should lead a godly life and stop sinning.  His wounds made me whole.  I am expected to follow in his steps and expected to suffer.  Wow.  This is hard stuff.

White Roses

I created this blog a long time ago to reflect on God at work in the world around me. Since I graduated college, got married and had a baby, posts have been few and far between. But today I have decided to post again. God is at work in the world - and I have sensed his presence closely in the past several years and I think it is time to share again. I do not promise more consistent postings - I am still, after all, married working and a full-time Mom... but as I find time I will be sharing here reflections on our great and awesome God.

White Roses.

I don't know about you, but I LOVE roses. Especially white roses. When Ryan and I moved to Canton - our first church together as a married couple - we decided that anytime someone would give their heart to Christ as a result of the ministry of our church that we would place a white rose on the altar Sunday morning in celebration of their new life in Christ. Since we have moved to Canton there have been many roses on the altar. The first was December 2009. A family of three gave their hearts to Jesus. This past April a young man gave his heart to Jesus and several weeks later his little sister did the same. A fifth grader asked to meet with Ryan to discuss baptism - and Ryan discovered in conversation that he really just wanted "God to live in his heart". This summer at Bible School 37 kids ages preschool - fifth grade asked God to be their friend and invited Jesus to live in their hearts. I was the one that led these 37 children in that prayer - and as there were only 41 children at Bible School that night I was questioned as to whether 37 children actually knew what they were doing. I debated this and struggled with this and concluded that maybe they didn't - but in my experience coming to know Jesus has been a process and I look back on several significant dates in my life where I gave a little more of my heart over to Jesus and I believe that what happened that night of Bible School in the hearts of 37 little children was real and authentic. And then - three weeks ago we found out that a first grader (one of the 37 children) led his Mom (who had practiced Wiccan) to Jesus. A friend and I met with her, prayed with her, and she told us that she had destroyed her Wiccan books and told Jesus that she promised to give Him her heart and follow Him. Wow! And her first grader led her to Jesus! He said "Mom - you should pray to my God. He can help you!" And she did - and He did. Wow.

Sometimes going through the motions - striving to live for Jesus - serving on Wednesdays and Sundays and in between at church - living a fairly predictable life - sometimes I forget that God is at work. I forget about the roses. I forget that people are closer to Jesus because of the ministry of our church. I forget that God is in the business of bringing people close to him. The Bible says in James "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you."

This week I don't want to forget. White roses are needed - and God is moving and at work. May I be a person that doesn't just go through the motions but may I remember - may I reflect on what God is doing. May I praise God for the lives that are changed and may I take time to draw near to God that he might draw near to me and that I might cause more white roses to be needed.