My Theme Song... :)

The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: "O Lord, save me!" The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.
-Psalm 116:3-9-

You know, life is really hard right now. I'm really struggling with the position I've taken at the hospital. I passed out that first day, and at least once a day that feeling of queasiness begins to creep back and I have to fight it away. More than that... it's a hospital. Every room holds a story, broken and hurting, scared and sad persons. Each time I walk into a room I seriously have to swallow my tears. Today one of my friends was there with her Mom who had a stroke and we walked through a living will. That was so hard. Yesterday a patient was taken off of life support and her parents were crying. That was awful. Today was a 101 year old's birthday and she was discharged yesterday, and it won't be long. That was sad. Honestly, I often want to walk out. Many times I wonder how I'll make it through the next long 10 weeks. Today after work, I'd held back tears all day and I just went home, called Mom, and sobbed. And then!! I found my theme song for the summer. And it's even a little funny cuz the one line says "I know that I can stand"... ha... as if Kirk Franklin knew I had a hard time standing up and have a history of blacking out. :) I can make it, though. I can stand. My life is in His hands; He sees and He's wiping my tears away as I cry out for the people I come in contact with. So, here's my song. Pray for me. Hospitals are hard. And would you let me know how I too can pray for you?


My Life is in Your Hands
-Kirk Franklin

You don't have to worry and don't you be afraid
Joy comes in the morning, troubles they don't last always
For there's a friend named Jesus who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken, just lift your hands and say:

Oh, I know that I can make it!
I know that I can stand!
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.
With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.

So when your tests and trials, they seem to get you down
And all your friends and loved ones are no where to be found
Remember there's a friend named Jesus who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken, just lift your hands and say:

Oh, I know that I can make it!
I know that I can stand!
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.
With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.

funny first day of work story...

Today was my first official day at work in the hospital. I'm doing my internship there, not at the Psych Ward, but with the Social Workers that work at Provena. Yesterday I had an employee orientation, and then today I started following the worker around the hospital. We were a whole two hours into the job... nothing had even happened yet, and for some reason I got really queasy and nauseous and began to black out. My supervisor started talking to me and the last time I blacked out I threw up everywhere, so I just cut her off and said, "Is there a bathroom?" I felt really rude, but I had to do something. She said, "Oh sure, just follow me!" We walked around the corner of the nurse's station desk and I couldn't see anything at that point. I tripped on my shoe, or the carpet or something, and fell face first into the wall and passed out on the floor. Yeah, real smooth, huh? I never did carry out my nauseous-ness and throw up or anything, but I was pretty bruised and the nurses were all worried about me so they put me in a wheelchair and rolled me to the ER. It was kinda funny... I'd just met the ER staff about 20 minutes before and they were like "What happened to you?" :) They did everything to me!! They drew blood, tested me for all sorts of stuff, did an EKG, an X-Ray, and a Cat Scan and finally let me go home. I'm not broken or sprained or fractured, I just have two nice welts... one on my face and one on my clavicle... and I'll work tomorrow morning. Hopefully I can stand up long enough to complete my hours!! How crazy is that!?! Talk about embarrassing!!

the new a.p.t.! :)

So I'm officially graduated (well... I am working my field placement starting Monday at Provena St. Marys praise the Lord!)... but I'm also officially OLD. Today I worked at Barnes and Noble with this kid and when he walked in I thought, awe he's a cute little kid. I asked him where he went to school and he just graduated from BBCHS. He's not that much younger than me and wow, I totally felt 22. Crazy!! High school seems yesterday. Hmm.

But it's not yesterday. And today I decorated our A.P.T. more (no that doesn't stand for anything... it's just how I say the word "apartment"). I thought I'd drop you a few hot shots of where I'll be living all summer... and you're more than welcome to come and visit if you'd like!! :) My roommates will be joining me in 10 days and will probably bring some more decor. I was going to wait until they came to cover the couches and hang my camel pictures up so they were where the girls wanted them too... but I'm impatient and need homey-ness to return to after a long day at work, so... TA-DA!!! :)

Meet the living room...

Ok... now check out the INCREDIBLE table in the dining room that Tyler Hull built for me (with Chris and Harrison's help)... how freakin solid is THAT!?! :) I've thought about painting it black so the legs that pop out at the bottom aren't just 2x4s... but I love it. So mumkin I'll just leave it. (Forgive my not ironing the tablecloth. I hate ironing. I wanted it to be on the table now... it wasn't worth the task. Someday I'm gonna marry a hot fellow who will enjoy ironing. It's the only thing I hate. Give me dishes, a vaccuum, or toilet bowl cleaner any day... but please don't make me iron!! Oh, and I hate spider webs. Sick. I don't like spiders either.)

And this is the lovely centerpiece I have adorned our table with. (It looks a little awkward, but I don't have placemats yet and I figured I'd make the best of the coasters from Syria.) :)

Quick nasty glance at the bathroom... I have no shower curtain, rug or toilet seat cover, so yeah... this is it. :)
Welcome to the bedroom... or sleeping room we should say.

And this is my AMAZING closet that I LOVE. Ah, the shelves!! :)

And this is the other bedroom, or desk-room. My desk is NOT cluttered... I just saturate that place with pictures because I LOVE looking at the faces of the people I love while I type on my computer or write papers or work on whatever it is I do here.

And then... da da da DAH!!! My favorite room: THE KITCHEN!!! Dude, dude, DUDE!!! I have a gas stove!!!! How freakin amazing is that!?! I LOVE it!! :) And that door by my star key holder leads to a humongous pantry that also is spectacular. Ah, I love not living in a dorm!!! :)

So what'dya think? Did I decorate ok? :)

I'm Graduated!!! Or as James said, "Now you're an adult!"

I GRADUATED!!!
Or walked you could say. I got a blank diploma that will be filled come August. If my Field Placement works out... ugh!! Here are a few pictures from the weekend... I'm hoping to have more later, am just waiting for them. I love you and miss you... especially if you're from Lima!

This is me and my Amy getting ready to graduate...
Here we are. Can you tell we've been teary?

I love this one. Check out my family minus Dad and Uncle Dan watching me graduate... Ha!And here I am... all hot in my black hat! :)

Just Re-Inforcing what the Previous Post Says!

Have fun reading... and if you stalk me through this blog I want you to know that I don't think it's fair that you know about me but I have no idea that you're reading this!! Will you please leave me a comment even just to say that you read this, or that you love me, or whatever... write your name... so that you can be on my mind too!?! :) I love you... have an awesome day, and yeah. Enjoy my thoughts.

A Detailed Update about the Life of Kara Joy... :)

So, I was thinking about updating this blog with news about the life of Kara Joy aka me... but then I read through my blog and realized that it has been extremely vague this semester and I thought I'd get down with some dirty details if that's ok with everyone. :) I have some sweet stories I should have shared with you long ago... so within this post you will find: an update on what my plans are for my life with graduation right around the corner, some pictures and stories from the past weeks and months, and a little of what God is teaching me lately. Have fun reading... and if you stalk me through this blog I want you to know that I don't think it's fair that you know about me but I have no idea that you're reading this!! Will you please leave me a comment even just to say that you read this, or that you love me, or whatever... write your name... so that you can be on my mind too!?! :) I love you... have an awesome day, and yeah. Enjoy my thoughts.

Update on My Life...

Field Placement: I'm a Social Work Major. That means that I take tons of classes and volunteer at multiple locations, and then in the Spring or Summer of the Senior Year, a social work major must complete a 450 hour field placement... aka working 40 hours a week in a social work agency under a supervisor. I opted to do my placement in the summer and this semester have been an RA for freshmen girls. I am not yet completely sure where I will be doing my field placement this summer. (Yes, I realize I start in 2 weeks and I am frustrated out the wazoo... I am not a slacker, I was thinking ahead.) I was offered a placement at the Helen Wheeler Center in Kankakee working with mental health, but my supervisor is resigning so I will no longer be able to work there. He is currently looking for something for me and has a contact at Riverside that I think will work. So, I think that I'll be working on the psych ward of the hospital this summer with teenage girls... but I'm not sure yet. He is supposed to call me tomorrow so hopefully that will be nailed down tomorrow afternoon. Pray for me?!?
Also, this summer I will be living on campus and along with my 40 hours a week of field placement that are not paid, I will be working 20 hours a week at Barnes and Noble.

Graduation: Because of my field placement I am actually not graduating until August. I will walk Saturday, May 3rd with my class but then not officially receive my diploma until I complete my field placement hours this summer. BUT!! The end is in sight!! :)

Post Graduation Plans: Many of you have heard me brainstorm and talk about ideas: moving to Deerborne and working with the Arab population, becoming an RD at Olivet, moving to the Netherlands and working in the RedLight District, going back to Egypt, and probably several other crazy ideas I've gotten in my head. ;) Well... none of these are the option I am choosing at this point, and I'm really excited about the future... one cuz I love the city I'm moving to, but two because I don't really have a set plan. As my Mom says "Kara Joy, it's your adventure!" And I'm putting my hiking shoes on... I'm sooo excited! :) I am: moving to Indianapolis! I'm going to move in with my Aunt Nancy for a few months as I get a job and start looking for an apartment, roommates, a church, a place to best serve God ministry, need and people wise, and work on becoming a resident of the state of Indiana so that next year I can start my masters in social work or psychology or counseling or whatever I figure out I want to specifically go into over this next year as I get experience working as a social worker.

Life Lately...


The Band: I'll start this section with the most significant part of my senior year at Olivet, and the part that I already miss so much. The band. Those hot fellows (and Liz!). This semester we traveled 6 weekends together to Indiana, Michigan and Illinois, and had so much fun together. We climbed a metal rocket, we trusted GPS and got lost not once but twice, I gave my bible away and the guys encouraged the trash out of me, we hung out at Army Surplus Stores and Guitar Center, we drank lots of rootbeer, and we ate dinner together every week. More than that, we worshiped Jesus together and spent tons of time talking to him, about him, and hung out with lots of students. I miss playing with the guys already!

Just in case you don't know who these incredible people in my life and this picture are... they are: Harrison Agan, Liz Agan, Tyler Hull, Chris DeMerell, Me, and Jeremiah Toole. I love you guys!

Parrott First Floor Ladies: Did I tell you about this picture!?! I cried when Tracy gave it to me. Tracy, one of my girls, painted this incredible picture of a camel for me for my birthday. It is soo good and wonderful!! I love it so much!! :) Check it out...
(Tracy's the one all the way to the right.)

I have been so blessed by the girls in Parrott this semester, both my first floor ladies, the RAs and RD, and other random girls throughout the dorm. I have so many stories... but I think I'll just tell the story of this semester the way that I told it at an RA/RD appreciation dinner last week thrown by WRL...

" If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. -James 1:5
May the God of peace equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. -Hebrews 13:20-21
This semester I have had the privilege of becoming an RA for freshmen girls, and back in December when Rosetta called me and asked me to become an RA, I found the two previous scriptures that have encouraged me all semester. My prayer for the semester was...
'God will you just love them (my girls) through me? May I be an incubator for your love.'
As I began thinking about what God is doing in my girls, I have several stories to share with you, but I couldn't stop thinking about how through my girls God is moving in me! Because I came into this position half-way through a school year I missed out on bonding through Ollies Follies, and first-week, first-year mumbo jumbo, so to get to know my girls I began to take them out one-on-one. I would always ask them the following questions and we would talk for about an hour...
-Why are you at Olivet?
-Where are you from/what's your family like?
-What's your major/ what do you want to do with your life?
-Who's your roommate and how is that?
-Who is God to you?
Because I have begun to build relationships with my girls and I have asked that last question without hesitation, I have had an incredible opportunity to share my story and Christ's story with so many of my girls. Here are a few of their stories and what God's doing in their lives... they get me so excited and teary eyed, and I'm just so excited to see how God continues to work in these girls!
-1 Girl told me 'All my friends have these awesome experiences with God, but I've never felt that or had that. I don't know if it's real, and honestly, I don't even know if I need God!' We talked for quite a while and all of a sudden it hit me. She'd been eating this brownie with thick fudge icing. I told her, 'You know, God's kinda like your brownie.' She's like, 'Huh?' I said, 'Well, is it good?' 'Yeah!! It's got the fudge icing on top!' and I told her that it was almost like she was sitting at a table with all her friends and they all had these plates with delicious brownies with thick fudge icing, and all her friends are digging in and telling her how good it is, but she's just sitting there looking at her fork. In Psalms it says to 'Taste and see that the Lord is good', but if we don't pick up our fork and take a bite we won't ever know what it really tastes like and if it's real, and if it's truly good. I have NO idea how I thought of that... Holy Spirit, duh ;)... but anyways, we talked a little longer, I prayed for her and then asked her what she thought and she said, 'You know, I think I wanna pick up my fork and take a bite'. Not kidding you... I was so excited, I cried and shook all afternoon!! It was awesome!! :)
-2 Different Girls had conversations with me about alcohol. Both don't want to drink with their friends and so I asked them why they don't drink. Their reason was that people told them it's wrong, that they go to Olivet, there was no solid reason. And so I told them that was a stupid reason not to drink. I challenged them to find a solid reason. I have three reasons that I don't drink that are solid reasons, (Ask me about them.) and I encouraged the girls to find a solid reason or two not to drink so that when your friends ask you why you won't drink with them you're not just saying "Well, I don't drink"... cuz that's stupid. We went further in conversation and talked about faith and I encouraged them to use the same method in their spiritual life. They shouldn't just believe in God and pray because someone taught them to or because they go to a Christian School. They should believe and worship God because of who He is in their life, and if they aren't convinced God is real, then they should look for Him, test Him, read the Word for a few weeks and figure out if it's bigger than just going through the motions. Both girls seemed excited about those ideas regarding alcohol and their faith.
-1 Girl told me her spiritual life is a plateau. She simply can't go any further. She was saved and now she's just... on the plateau. Somehow I thought to tell her that she wasn't on a plateau. She's on Mt. Kilimanjaro! She just has to get out her rock climbing hooky thing with a rope and throw it up until it sticks to the next peak and climb even if it means she'll slip a little and fall... but that there's always more mountain to climb. She really liked that image and seemed genuinely excited about the idea that there was more than what she was used to.
-1 Girl told me that if I could pray anything for her I should pray that God would become real to her.
-1 Girl started praying scripture instead of just praying and not long after that was challenged with a situation in her life and claimed verses over her cousins in prayer. So kewl!!
-1 Girl destroyed all of her movies music on itunes that made her think wrong thoughts. I totally didn't tell her to do that, and I was so proud of her!! She's been praying promises in scripture and wants to go home and remain the person in Christ that she is now.
-1 Girl taught another of my girls to pray outloud, and since then has begun to share her faith with her family. Two weeks before Spring Break she decided that she would pray outloud in front of her family for the first time over break, and the next week she felt God call her to tell her parents her story. So she did!!
There are so many more stories I could tell you. And funny stories too... like the time that one of my girls squirted me with water, or the time we made doughnuts in the lobby. I could talk for hours about where my girls are, what God's doing, and even how frustrated I get over their struggles. But through this I have grown and I have realized how ironic my prayer for my girls has been. I've prayed to be an incubator. A chicken is not hatched nor does it grow up in an incubator. Rather, the most crucial development happens within the egg while it sits under the incubator, but no obvious change is seen on the outside. Sometimes I get frustrated with my girls that just don't get it, the ones that aren't eating their brownies, the ones that doubt or struggle with the same thing over and over again, but then I think about how I am an incubator. They'll get it. I have to entrust them to God and just keep warming them with His love and pray that they'll be the hottest chicken ever someday. :) I know that every single one of them will!! And I'm so excited to run into them in years and see where they're at!!
Through all of this I have grown. I have seen things in myself that I hate and have to work on, and I have seen things that I'm really good at. I have felt a heavy pressure to stay strong and stay in the Word and for the most part I've done that, but have also been attacked this semester and realized what a struggle it really is to be the woman of wisdom that I long to be. I constantly remind myself of these words in Isaiah 41:9-10...
I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant, I have chosen you and have not rejected you.' So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. "

Coffee Shop: Wednesday, April 9th was my day to play slash sing in Common Grounds. It was a lot of fun. I picked some songs that I think really did a good job of reflecting who I am and what I'm passionate about in life while hopefully being nice to listen to. :) I sang Beautiful by Bethany Dillon and Hide by Joy Williams about insecurity, I sang some love songs: For My Love (my favorite!) by Bethany Dillon, Oxygen by Colbie Calliat, Thinking Over by Dana Glover, and a song that Jeremiah's brother wrote called Today. Then I sang some songs that are sad and hard about the reality of life and spent some time talking about Israel and Palestine: Belief by John Mayer, The Angry Song by Sergonomics, Something isn't Right Here by the Juliana Theory. And then I spent some time singing about my response through Gratitude by Nicole Nordeman and Set the World on Fire by Britt Nicole. Jonathan, Wes, Jordan, Amy, Kate and Jeremiah all helped me out with music and to open the night James, Wes, and Jordan sang and then James rapped me a song. It was awesome!! :) Check out some hot shots...




Party Time!: I LOVE planning parties. Kylee and I took on a major endeavor before Spring Break and we began planning a surprise party for Amy. It remained a complete secret until the day before when my wonderful brother asked Amy and I if we were excited about the shower. ;) Silly boy... but he didn't ruin it!! Amy figured out that we were doing a shower for her, but she didn't know when or what or where. I ended up lying to her alot and felt horrible about it... it was funny later... but got her to go "hiking" with me Saturday morning and go to breakfast at a bakery. When she showed up at my dorm everybody was in the lobby and we yelled "Surprise!" and then just had a really good time. Here are some hot shots... And it was probably the best party I've planned yet!! :)


This picture of me was not supposed to be of me... it was supposed to be of all the food. Ha... but it's a good one of me!! :) The next one is of the food... check out the incred fruit salad and monkey bread I made!! The other dish is Dump Cake, a fantastic cobbler with pineapples and cherries in it that Kylee made for the party. :)




I made Amy a countdown until her wedding day... It's pretty self explanatory... the jeans are cut into 56 pieces and velcroed to that board. :) (In case your imagination is wandering... there's a very conservative colored picture of her underneath... in crayola crayons!! Don't worry.) :)


This was the best part of the whole party... Amy's Mom Renae came!! :) It was soo awesome!! Amy screamed and jumped on her Mom when she saw her... I cried. It was fantastic!! :) I'm sooo glad that she and Amy's dad were able to come up for the weekend!! Amy loved it!!



Life with God...

God's really been stretching me lately. I've been really struggling with consistency in daily time with Him and some of it is that I'm frustrated with the way things are looking. A few weeks ago I mapped out Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C for my life... and all year I have been anticipating that Plan A would be the one I would be walking in come August. But it's not. And that's been hard for me to get over, and I've almost been a little mad at God for it. Yet I am striving to trust Him and remember that His plan is to prosper me and not to harm me, He will never leave me or forsake me so I don't have to fear, and His eyes are fixed on me and His ears are attentive to my cry. As Mom says: "Kara Joy, this is your adventure!" And as Grandma Burkey would say "It's sweet to trust in Jesus. Keep trusting Him, Kara Joy!"

Several weeks ago I found an incredible passage in Scripture...

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. -2 Peter 1:3-4

I have always prayed promises and claimed them over situations in my life... but this verse has made my doing that so much more meaningful!! Do you see what it says!?! It says that through the promises in the Word I can "participate in the divine nature" aka experience God and participate in His divine nature through a relationship with Him, and "escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires". The evil desires I have that throw me off, that keep me from God, and enable me to continue to struggle with the same thing over and over again... I escape this through the promises in the Word. How incredible is that!?! So lately I have been praying promises over my life and want to continue to search for promises in the Word and pray them over my life and the lives of those around me. As I end this post, I will leave you with the promise that I have been praying these last weeks of college...

The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love Him. -Psalm 145:18-20a

I need me some MOTIVATION!!!

Goodness Grecious!! Is anyone else struggling with motivation to finish papers and work and just finish everything... and do it strong!?! I want to finish well and do my best... but dude, senioritis is KILLING me!! I'm like so ready to just start working and stop taking classes. Never thought I'd ever say that!! But anyways... I'm here... and I need to focus to make the most of every opportunity and to truly finish well. Pray for me? I hate papers on the War in Iraq and the European Union and my political stance in life! I think I would so much rather write an exegesis. :) Anyways... this verse is one I claimed at the beginning of my freshman year. I must put it up again to make sure I achieve what I set out to four short years ago.

Having started the ball rolling so enthusiastically, you should carry this project through to completion just as gladly, giving whatever you can out of whatever you have. Let your enthusiastic idea at the start be equalled by your realistic action now.
-2 Corinthians 8:11

I gots me some work to do!!